~Prologue~

~November
2000~

 

 

Flickering sunlight, wavering precariously as the water in the cut-crystal glass perceived the faint tremor of the movement of the headmaster’s hand. The slight click as the second hand on the ancient grandfather clock progressed forward might have been enough to make him grit his teeth while he waited for any indication at all that he had been noticed. Too bad he had learned long ago to school his features, to secret away any thoughts that might cross his mind.

 

Fifteen minutes and counting.

 

With a sigh that was more of a subtle shrugging of the shoulders than an actual sound, Headmaster Foight set the antique fountain pen aside and folded his hands together atop the broad expanse of the old teak desk and finally—blessedly—lifted his gaze. Stark gray eyes bright with a certain menace that never quite went away, those eyes stared at him for several seconds before Dominique Foight, headmaster of the esteemed Branch-Haven Equinox Academy, blinked once—slowly, methodically, oblong pupils dilating like a creature stalking its prey—and he opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Why are you—” Foight began in an affectedly bored tone of voice as his gaze finally passed from him to the only other occupant in the room, “—still alive?”

 

Zain did not turn his head to glance at the young man beside him. He didn’t have to. He could hear him fidget under such close scrutiny; under such a harsh, blunt question.

 

“W—Uh—W-We weren’t—”

 

A long-fingered, elegant hand shot into the air, and the babbler immediately fell silent. Foight actually sighed as he slowly lowered his hand once more. “I distinctly recall hearing you issue challenge over breakfast this morning, Master Farington, and, while I know that I’m not exactly young anymore, I am positive that I heard this correctly.”

 

Pressing his lips together as he idly flicked a non-existent bit of fuzz from the pristine cuff of the stark white shirt, Zain stifled a snort. The headmaster’s age had little to do with his ability to overhear the issued challenge, after all. Youkai hearing was far superior to that of any other living being. Besides that, Tucker Farington had raised such a fuss that the entire school had heard him, and all because the idiot had carelessly backed into him with his tray, upsetting his oatmeal and coffee. The end result had pretty much looked like someone had puked all over the senior classman . . .

 

Farington shifted uncomfortably, though whether it was from the dressing-down he was receiving or because he wasn’t allowed time to check in at the infirmary before being summoned to the headmaster’s office was anyone’s guess. “W . . . I-I-It was more of a joke than a challenge,” he muttered under his breath.

 

“Are you sure it wasn’t more of a case of your temper overriding your common sense this morning?” Foight prodded, back to his bored tone of voice.

 

“Could’ve been,” Farington grumbled.

 

Foight stared at Farington for a long minute before flicking his hand toward the door. “Take care not to ‘joke’ about issuing challenges in the future, Master Farington, or I’ll kill you myself.”

 

Farington squeaked out an apology as he scuttled over to the door, wasting no time in letting himself out of the office, lest the old headmaster decide that he needed a pitiful bit of sport before the evening meal was served.

 

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Zain waited for the other shoe to drop.

 

“You let him off the hook—” Foight stated bluntly after the door had closed behind Farington, “—again.”

 

“As if someone like him could really defeat me.”

 

“A challenge is a challenge,” the headmaster went on. “I daresay your father will not be pleased about this.”

 

No, he probably wouldn’t be. Then again, perhaps he would. After all, Farington’s father was one of Heller Jericho’s generals currently presiding over the western region. Even so, Zain said nothing out loud, content to stare at Foight, the completely unfazed expression still on his face.

 

The lecture wasn’t finished, but he’d heard it all before at one time or another, even if the person delivering said-lecture changed from time to time. “You are the next tai-youkai, and all this . . . compassion . . . is going to be your downfall if you’re not careful.”

 

“It’s not compassion,” Zain stated flatly, evenly, his tone barely more than a monotone. “Fight one of Farington’s ilk? That is entirely insulting. It would take me longer to clean my sword after the fact than it would take to lop off his head.”

 

“Be that as it may,” Foight went on dourly, “the next time someone—anyone—issues you a challenge, you’d do well to follow it through, no matter how . . . demeaning it might be.”

 

“Thank you for your counsel,” Zain replied. Lips twitching in loose affectation of a smile, he made a show of offering the headmaster a low bow without breaking eye contact before turning on his heel and striding out of the office.

 

 

01: Breakfast of Champions >>>

~*************************************************~

All the characters in The Fulcrum belong to me.
Any similarities to any person, alive or dead, real or implied, are coincidental.

~Sueric~

 

I’ve started a new project that I’m hoping to eventually publish for the Kindle. It’s called The Fulcrum, and it’s a new take on youkai. This one is going to take certain aspects of the fanfictions that are wholly my own invention (not the fanfiction part but some of the ideas) and present them in a new world where youkai have not hidden what they are, where they exist amongst humans yet apart from them, too.

 

The Fulcrum

Read it here.

 

The Characters:

 

Zain Jericho: future tai-youkai, often referred to as the Fourth (meaning the Fourth generation) who has been raised knowing exactly what he is and what his place in life will be. In this world, love is secondary and power is everything. He is loosely related to the dog-youkai but is not strictly classified as one himself since he has assimilated many abilities through what amounts to selective breeding, to an extent. Thought to currently be the strongest youkai in North America, his father notwithstanding. He has benefitted from his parents’ desire to evolve in that, for the first time in known history, he has been given the option to marry for love instead, ignoring the general belief that marriage is little more than a tool to reinforce one’s power.

 

Kendall Farington: daughter of one of the current tai-youkai’s generals. She is a musical prodigy who attends the Conservatory where she studies piano. This leads to her impromptu meeting with the Fourth, who is quickly mesmerized by her talent. Raised to be every bit the lady she is, she longs for a freedom that she fears she will never have and is engaged to a man she has never met, all because her father believes it to be the best thing for her.

 

 

I hope that everyone will support me in this, and I hope that you will also read the story as it goes along. A word of caution: there will probably be edits, and some might be significant as I write. Unlike my fanfictions, this one is crucial in developing a world that can be sensed on every level. For a while now, I’ve wanted to work on something that I can ‘own’, that I can publish, and that, in turn, people who appreciate my writing can do the same. This story might be a bit darker, a bit heavier than the fanfictions tend to be on a whole, and, while I love the Purities and will continue them, as well, right now, this is a story that I think I need to write for me.

The walmart.com site has apparently had security issues. Someone hacked our account and bought 3 50 dollar iPod gift cards in Westminister, CA and used our info for payment. In short, we’re so screwed it’s not funny. As if Eric’s reduced hours at work weren’t bad enough to the point that we can barely make ends meet, now this. We’ve reported all of this to our bank, etc, and they will dispute it but that doesn’t help when it shows that we’re now 100 bucks overdrawn, and I cannot pay the bills that were due because someone in California thought they’d get three frigging ipod gift cards using my walmart.com account. Walmart.com won’t cancel the charges because the cards were already shipped. Really?! I don’t even know what to do now. I feel so defeated.

 

Our bank says that there’s nothing they can do for 7-10 days till it clears but things will keep bouncing until then? They MIGHT take off the overdraft charges (35 bucks a pop) if it’s showed that we’d have had enough money in there before. I feel so demoralized that it’s just not even funny. Just how much of this kind of crap can one person take? We’ve been struggling since Thanksgiving last year. Heck, I had to get a stupid cash advance (interest is 30 bucks per hundred borrowed every two weeks) just to pay the electric bill that is probably going to be dishonored by my bank now since I’m overdrawn. I am so sick of this BS and just want to know when it’s going to be over so I can think again. So I can breathe again. I’m starting to wonder if I ever will. Why bother? Why not just give the hell up …? In the meanwhile, the 75 bucks that I HAD for groceries this week is also gone, sucked up by some asshole in California who I don’t know. What is it? A joke? A game? A cute way to get something they wanted because they are too lazy to work for it? Well, glad they’re having fun. I am at the end of my rope. I see absolutely no light at the end of this for us. I’m so sick of feeling like this. I honestly don’t see anything getting better, and what do you do when optimism fails? It was my last attempt at keeping it together—to be positive, to think that everything was fine. It’s not. There’s always going to be something out there to break me down every time I think we’re going to be able to get back up again.

Hey, guys. Quick update. Things are still pretty painful around here, financially, and so I was thinking. I want to ask anyone who likes my stories to consider purchasing one of the originals off the original stories page, if you haven’t already. All original stories are $5.00 each and are in PDF format. I read them on my tablet, so I know they do work that way. It would help us dramatically, and hopefully, you’ll at least enjoy the stories there. I know, they’re not as well-written as the fanfics (they were all written about 15+ years ago now) but they’re still readable. I enjoy them for what they are, and I think others who have purchased them have, too.

 

It would truly help us out a lot as well as take a great deal of stress off of me. As I said in my last post, Eric was laid off over Christmas/New Year’s, so we’ve got next to no income this week or next, and as such, we haven’t even money to get toilet paper. Buying the original stories would help us in that. At least we’d be able to get a few grocery items we need.

 

Thanks to everyone who has helped us out. You have no idea how much we appreciate it. It’s humbling to know that there are people out there, willing to help a virtual stranger. I hope that I can pay it forward, too, in one way or another. This whole holiday season has been so depressing for me, but you’ve provided a bit of a light to me, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.

 

God bless you all.

 

Sue

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who helped me out. Went to the doctor, and I guess I had a really, really bad infection. My white blood cell count was through the roof (that was the nurse’s words lol). Got prescription for that, but on the bad side, my blood sugar is apparently really messed up (178 before eating breakfast). They want me to go back for that, and I will as soon as I can.

So thank you for your support, even if it was just your thoughts. Even when I was feeling yucky, I think it helped me a lot!

I’m sorry for the sporadic updates. I’ll try to do better, but apparently the high blood sugar levels are causing severe drowsiness for me, so even if I feel well-rested, I sometimes have to lie down, anyway.

Thank you again, guys. I don’t know what I’d have done without you all!

Hello. As many of you know, I’ve been sick for the last week. At first I thought it was the flu, but I am starting to think it’s something I need to go to the doctor for. The problem with that is easy. Just after Christmas, my husband’s work cut back his hours drastically, and while we make enough to pay the bills, that’s all we make. Going to the doctor is going to be at least 80, not counting whatever meds he may put me on, probably some kind of antibiotic. We have insurance, yes, but we also have a 5000 deductible per year before it will even touch our prescriptions, and on top of that, a 2500 out of pocket, too. The long and short of it is that we just don’t have any money to pay for this.

If you can help me out with 5 or 10 bucks, I’d be so appreciative. I’m just so sick of being sick, and a week of it is enough.

Thank you and God bless!

I just wanted to share this information for anyone who wants to help by donating to aid those affected by the recent disasters in Japan

“The American Red Cross has established several ways to help out relief efforts for the victims of Friday’s earthquake in Japan and the subsequent tsunami.

The Red Cross is accepting only financial contributions for earthquake and tsunami relief, which can be made online at American Red Cross Southeastern Pennsylvania Chapter, or a $10 donation can be made by texting REDCROSS to 90999.

To find U.S. citizens living or traveling in Japan, contact the U.S. Department of State’s Office of Overseas Citizens Services at (888) 407-4747 or (202) 647-5225.”

Also, please note:

The administration of this site strongly urge ANYONE who can donate anything to do so in a manner that will benefit those who truly need it by utilizing the Red Cross or other NATIONALLY ACCREDITED Disaster Relief Organizations. If a site says that they are collecting for this disaster, we strongly urge you to consider donating directly through the Red Cross or other well-established charity designed for this purpose!

Hey, everyone.

I guess I should take a moment to explain a little more in-depth than I did in my author note, and with a little more objectivity that wasn’t there at the time, either.

You know something?  I love—LOVE—how attached people are to this story.  I love that you (insert your own name here) want to tell me how exasperated you are in one form or another because it means that you love these characters as much as I do, and that is such a compliment, you cannot believe.

Funny, really.  I remember thinking that there was such a good chance that poor Valerie was going to get bashed royally for the Bahamas trip.  I knew it from the onset, you know?  I knew it for a few reasons.  Firstly, yeah, she wasn’t really thinking of Evan’s feelings.  Of course, when he came upstairs acting like he was fine, why ever would she think that he was still nursing the bruised ego?  I knew he was.  You, the readers, knew he was.  She didn’t see it.  He never let her see that.  And he’s never told her ‘no’, either.  He’s teased her and told her not to do things, knowing that she would anyway.  In this instance, he didn’t try to tell her, but that didn’t matter very much, given that what Valerie knows is that he always lets her have his way.  Maybe that’s not the right way to state it, but that’s it in a nutshell.  Add the warmth of the Bahamas to it, knowing that she adores warmth, and, well, did you honestly think she wouldn’t want to go?  Yeah, neither did I.  Heh.

Yes, it got a little troublesome to me, reading time after time how disappointed or let down people were in Valerie.  All the while, I kept thinking, ‘They’ll know soon.  They’ll see why things are happening the way they are.’  I still think that, you know?  And no, for the record, I wasn’t upset by the backlash at Valerie.  I knew it was coming, see?

The second reason that I didn’t really take the Valerie bashing to heart was simple.  I write romance.  I know that the majority of my readers are female (though by no means all, and I’m glad of that, too).  I know that it is the female readers who tend to think that the hero can do no wrong.  (Don’t believe me?  Think back to the chapters where Evan first revealed his true name to Valerie, and remember what he demanded of her, recall how he demeaned her completely when she asked him to dance with her.  No, he didn’t really get the heat nearly as bad as she has been the last few chapters.)  The heroine, however, is a difficult character in romance.  I think that writing a good female character tends to be harder than anything else because, as a writer, I want her to be ‘real’.  I want readers to identify with her in some regards, even if it’s not a complete understanding.  There is always a little bit of myself in these women.  In Valerie, there’s a lot of me.  No, I wasn’t abandoned as a child, at least, not in the way that she was.  Evan knows, maybe better than she does, that her way of thinking and system of belief is based upon one thing: every single person in her life who should have loved and protected her have hurt her.  Love, for her, is the most frightening thing that there is.

The thing that I guess kind of hurt me the most was the commentary on Evan, about how he is weak in this story, and I guess that maybe it could be seen as such.  He does do a lot to accommodate our heroine.  I don’t think it’s weak, though.  I really don’t.  To me, Evan’s willingness to put her first above himself and despite of himself is a strength, albeit not a traditional one.  In many respects, I think Evan is very likely the strongest emotionally of all the Purity men.  I mean, seriously.  Can you see Bas putting up with Valerie’s emotional baggage?  Can you see Gavin keeping his faith while she tells him she doesn’t want him time and again?  And Gunnar?  Forget about it.  Yeah, I can’t, either.  Evan is willing to give Valerie the time she needs to deal with her demons before demanding that she make a choice, and while part of that is likely fear that she’ll still pick Marvin over him, it’s the giving nature that he inherited from his mother and his father that shines through, I think.  Valerie was very right when she said that Evan has a beautiful soul.

Unfortunately, Evan, like Valerie, doesn’t always show his true thoughts or express his true feelings, either.  ‘Smile,’ Gin had once said.  ‘Smile and don’t let him know that it’s killing you inside.’  Evan is very much his mother’s son.  He has different reasons.  He’s never had a woman who took him seriously.  He’s been conditioned to be what everyone wants  him to be: to Cain and Bas, he’s the problem child (at least life was never boring, right?)  To Jillian, he’s the good brother who is always there for her to lean on.  To Sydnie, he’s the kid brother she never had.  To Madison, he’s the friend who doubles as a ‘girlfriend’, too—someone she can sit around with and laugh over the girly things, but who also fulfills a basic need without the messy attachments that go with it.  To the various women he’s met over the years, all they’ve wanted was a plaything, and Evan became that, too.  And now Valerie?  Evan gets scared, too, and yeah, he gets discouraged, though maybe not as easily as others might.

Now that I’ve explained all that, I figure that it’s time to explain why I was upset.  Sometimes I get reviews saying that the characters feel real to them, and that’s so great.  Those make me happiest because the same characters are very real in my head.  (No, I’m not nuts, and I don’t think they truly exist…) I might write the stories, but oftentimes, if I’ve done my job right in the first few chapters, I’ve already set their characters in place, and often, they end up doing things that I didn’t plan on.  That’s fine, in my opinion.  They normally don’t veer off too far away from where I ultimately want them to go.

Let me also say that I’m not “mad” at anyone.  I’m not “angry” or anything like that.  I don’t want anything bad to happen to this reviewer, and I don’t want them to stop enjoying the stories, either.  I was just discouraged, I guess, and it was the sum of the whole that got to me, in the end.  It made me wonder if I really was doing that badly in crafting this story in particular, and that really made me question myself and my ability to write.  Reviews can be both good and bad.  I know that the responses I’ve read were genuine.  I know that most people adore Evan and his idiosyncrasies, and honestly, I can understand the overall frustration with Valerie’s inability to accept what’s right in front of her.  I also know that, as a reader myself, there are times when you just want to shake the main characters because we, as readers, see the whole, not just one part or another.  Sometimes I think that’s a blessing, but often, it can be a curse, too.  Because readers know about Evan’s lineage, they know that Evan will be forever faithful to Valerie, but …
she doesn’t.  And I have to wonder if sometimes readers forget that she doesn’t know about that.

I know; I know.  I’m writing more on this than I usually do about characters—at least, ones I’m writing currently.  I guess I just wanted to explain myself and my feelings.  I just want you all to know exactly where the author’s note had come from.  It didn’t come from anger or anything at anyone in particular, exactly.  Well, maybe toward myself.   After all, these things should have come out in the story itself, and ultimately, if it doesn’t, then it is my fault for not finding a way to make everyone understand it.  For that, I apologize, truly.

I’m actually almost done with chapter 135.  I do hope to post it Friday, on schedule.  (I usually release Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays).  Of course, after the next few chapters, there is a good chance that I might have to go into hiding for a while … I guess we’ll see what bashing might come my way after that lol.

Teasers are uploaded in the forum! Look forward to the great Christmas Caper lol

Hey, guys.  I just wanted to thank everyone who has helped out or send their kindest regards to us.  We’re closing in on our goal (and praying that the repairs won’t go over the estimates).  We’ve got to get the new roof on in the next week, though.  Apparently the “person” who turned us in to the welfare before for the roof (grrrrr) is at it again, and while I was able to put them off for a couple weeks before they come over for another inspection, I’m hoping that we can get the new roof up before they do visit.  I feel so frustrated, so angry, and so disillusioned at the moment that I just want to go crawl into a hole somewhere and disappear.  I mean, it just feels like no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get things together.  The claims against us are stupid; it’s not like we’re just ignoring the problem, and really, it’s partially welfare’s fault, too, considering they can’t seem to understand that the thing that caused our financial problems this time around–Skylar’s seizures–should have been covered by medicaid because he’s disabled, and it says a much on their website, yet they keep telling us over and over that we “make too much money”.  Yeah, right.

So once more, I am asking–begging–anyone who can spare it to please, please help us if you can.  It’s appreciated more than you’ll ever know.