I still do have some moments when I just need to lie down and rest. It seems like the mind is willing, but my body fights me sometimes. I am going to get back to work on the holiday short this week after I get my youngest back to school again, so rest assured, I haven’t forgotten.

I also haven’t forgotten Evan and Valerie, either. I plan on returning to them as soon as the holiday short is finished, but I’ve decided to do something a little different this time. I’m going to finish the story before I resume posting. Now, before anyone gets upset (if anyone’s still looking for the end of the tale), there really is a reason I’m doing it this way. To put it simply, there’s a LOT of stuff that I want to make sure is completely right before I post it. Often times, I just post the story as it goes without always waiting for the betas (mostly Mel because she’s not always accessible. Greta has beta’ed almost every chapter I’ve ever written before I’ve posted them since she started working with me lol) However, there are a lot of things that I want to make sure are there, and I don’t feel right in posting something, only to hear from Mel that I’d forgotten something, big or small. I mean, does anyone ever go back and re-read when I post edits? Lol, I’m not even sure that I would! But it’s for that reason that I want to finish the story before I post the rest. Rough projection is that there are about… thirty chapters left, give or take. Knowing me, there’ll be more like fifty, but honestly, I don’t think so.

I do also want to apologize to everyone who was/is reading Evan and Valerie’s story. I didn’t mean to leave anyone in the lurch. Those of you who know me know that I really didn’t mean to do any such thing, but at the same time, those who know me also know that I don’t often talk about personal issues, either. I was kind of blind-sided by my health issues, and there were some days that I never got out of bed. I’m doing much better now though I still need to get to the doctor for some testing. Just can’t really afford it (and my husband’s health insurance isn’t worth two nickels), so I did what I could do, basically.

In any case, I just wanted to let everyone know what’s going on. Thanks to everyone who sent words of concern. It was greatly appreciated, and I apologize for not responding to them personally.

Here’s to a better 2012!!

So thank you for your support, even if it was just your thoughts. Even when I was feeling yucky, I think it helped me a lot!

I’m sorry for the sporadic updates. I’ll try to do better, but apparently the high blood sugar levels are causing severe drowsiness for me, so even if I feel well-rested, I sometimes have to lie down, anyway.

Thank you again, guys. I don’t know what I’d have done without you all!

If you can help me out with 5 or 10 bucks, I’d be so appreciative. I’m just so sick of being sick, and a week of it is enough.

Thank you and God bless!

“A typical Saturday afternoon with Cain and Gin …?”

I started this on Easter but just finished it.  It wasn’t meant to be very long–more like a “scene” … Anyway, it was cute, I thought, so enjoy!

That aside, I wanted to encourage everyone to re-read Purity as I post the new chapters.  I’ve got another one ready to go, and I think the new chapters are a lot of fun.  Upon re-reading it, I found that there was a glaring discrepancy missing toward the beginning; that there were a lot of places that needed to be fleshed out and ‘finished’, as it were.  Well, I hope that people agree with me.

“The American Red Cross has established several ways to help out relief efforts for the victims of Friday’s earthquake in Japan and the subsequent tsunami.

The Red Cross is accepting only financial contributions for earthquake and tsunami relief, which can be made online at American Red Cross Southeastern Pennsylvania Chapter, or a $10 donation can be made by texting REDCROSS to 90999.

To find U.S. citizens living or traveling in Japan, contact the U.S. Department of State’s Office of Overseas Citizens Services at (888) 407-4747 or (202) 647-5225.”

Also, please note:

The administration of this site strongly urge ANYONE who can donate anything to do so in a manner that will benefit those who truly need it by utilizing the Red Cross or other NATIONALLY ACCREDITED Disaster Relief Organizations. If a site says that they are collecting for this disaster, we strongly urge you to consider donating directly through the Red Cross or other well-established charity designed for this purpose!

You don’t have to be registered for the blog in order to read the chapter; you just need the password, however, to get the password, you DO have to be registered on the FORUM.

Anyway, the password can be found in <<this post>> and the chapter can be found <<here>>

EDIT: This chapter has FINALLY been uploaded on MediaMiner so go read it there!

I guess I should take a moment to explain a little more in-depth than I did in my author note, and with a little more objectivity that wasn’t there at the time, either.

You know something?  I love—LOVE—how attached people are to this story.  I love that you (insert your own name here) want to tell me how exasperated you are in one form or another because it means that you love these characters as much as I do, and that is such a compliment, you cannot believe.

Funny, really.  I remember thinking that there was such a good chance that poor Valerie was going to get bashed royally for the Bahamas trip.  I knew it from the onset, you know?  I knew it for a few reasons.  Firstly, yeah, she wasn’t really thinking of Evan’s feelings.  Of course, when he came upstairs acting like he was fine, why ever would she think that he was still nursing the bruised ego?  I knew he was.  You, the readers, knew he was.  She didn’t see it.  He never let her see that.  And he’s never told her ‘no’, either.  He’s teased her and told her not to do things, knowing that she would anyway.  In this instance, he didn’t try to tell her, but that didn’t matter very much, given that what Valerie knows is that he always lets her have his way.  Maybe that’s not the right way to state it, but that’s it in a nutshell.  Add the warmth of the Bahamas to it, knowing that she adores warmth, and, well, did you honestly think she wouldn’t want to go?  Yeah, neither did I.  Heh.

Yes, it got a little troublesome to me, reading time after time how disappointed or let down people were in Valerie.  All the while, I kept thinking, ‘They’ll know soon.  They’ll see why things are happening the way they are.’  I still think that, you know?  And no, for the record, I wasn’t upset by the backlash at Valerie.  I knew it was coming, see?

The second reason that I didn’t really take the Valerie bashing to heart was simple.  I write romance.  I know that the majority of my readers are female (though by no means all, and I’m glad of that, too).  I know that it is the female readers who tend to think that the hero can do no wrong.  (Don’t believe me?  Think back to the chapters where Evan first revealed his true name to Valerie, and remember what he demanded of her, recall how he demeaned her completely when she asked him to dance with her.  No, he didn’t really get the heat nearly as bad as she has been the last few chapters.)  The heroine, however, is a difficult character in romance.  I think that writing a good female character tends to be harder than anything else because, as a writer, I want her to be ‘real’.  I want readers to identify with her in some regards, even if it’s not a complete understanding.  There is always a little bit of myself in these women.  In Valerie, there’s a lot of me.  No, I wasn’t abandoned as a child, at least, not in the way that she was.  Evan knows, maybe better than she does, that her way of thinking and system of belief is based upon one thing: every single person in her life who should have loved and protected her have hurt her.  Love, for her, is the most frightening thing that there is.

The thing that I guess kind of hurt me the most was the commentary on Evan, about how he is weak in this story, and I guess that maybe it could be seen as such.  He does do a lot to accommodate our heroine.  I don’t think it’s weak, though.  I really don’t.  To me, Evan’s willingness to put her first above himself and despite of himself is a strength, albeit not a traditional one.  In many respects, I think Evan is very likely the strongest emotionally of all the Purity men.  I mean, seriously.  Can you see Bas putting up with Valerie’s emotional baggage?  Can you see Gavin keeping his faith while she tells him she doesn’t want him time and again?  And Gunnar?  Forget about it.  Yeah, I can’t, either.  Evan is willing to give Valerie the time she needs to deal with her demons before demanding that she make a choice, and while part of that is likely fear that she’ll still pick Marvin over him, it’s the giving nature that he inherited from his mother and his father that shines through, I think.  Valerie was very right when she said that Evan has a beautiful soul.

Unfortunately, Evan, like Valerie, doesn’t always show his true thoughts or express his true feelings, either.  ‘Smile,’ Gin had once said.  ‘Smile and don’t let him know that it’s killing you inside.’  Evan is very much his mother’s son.  He has different reasons.  He’s never had a woman who took him seriously.  He’s been conditioned to be what everyone wants  him to be: to Cain and Bas, he’s the problem child (at least life was never boring, right?)  To Jillian, he’s the good brother who is always there for her to lean on.  To Sydnie, he’s the kid brother she never had.  To Madison, he’s the friend who doubles as a ‘girlfriend’, too—someone she can sit around with and laugh over the girly things, but who also fulfills a basic need without the messy attachments that go with it.  To the various women he’s met over the years, all they’ve wanted was a plaything, and Evan became that, too.  And now Valerie?  Evan gets scared, too, and yeah, he gets discouraged, though maybe not as easily as others might.

Now that I’ve explained all that, I figure that it’s time to explain why I was upset.  Sometimes I get reviews saying that the characters feel real to them, and that’s so great.  Those make me happiest because the same characters are very real in my head.  (No, I’m not nuts, and I don’t think they truly exist…) I might write the stories, but oftentimes, if I’ve done my job right in the first few chapters, I’ve already set their characters in place, and often, they end up doing things that I didn’t plan on.  That’s fine, in my opinion.  They normally don’t veer off too far away from where I ultimately want them to go.

Let me also say that I’m not “mad” at anyone.  I’m not “angry” or anything like that.  I don’t want anything bad to happen to this reviewer, and I don’t want them to stop enjoying the stories, either.  I was just discouraged, I guess, and it was the sum of the whole that got to me, in the end.  It made me wonder if I really was doing that badly in crafting this story in particular, and that really made me question myself and my ability to write.  Reviews can be both good and bad.  I know that the responses I’ve read were genuine.  I know that most people adore Evan and his idiosyncrasies, and honestly, I can understand the overall frustration with Valerie’s inability to accept what’s right in front of her.  I also know that, as a reader myself, there are times when you just want to shake the main characters because we, as readers, see the whole, not just one part or another.  Sometimes I think that’s a blessing, but often, it can be a curse, too.  Because readers know about Evan’s lineage, they know that Evan will be forever faithful to Valerie, but …
she doesn’t.  And I have to wonder if sometimes readers forget that she doesn’t know about that.

I know; I know.  I’m writing more on this than I usually do about characters—at least, ones I’m writing currently.  I guess I just wanted to explain myself and my feelings.  I just want you all to know exactly where the author’s note had come from.  It didn’t come from anger or anything at anyone in particular, exactly.  Well, maybe toward myself.   After all, these things should have come out in the story itself, and ultimately, if it doesn’t, then it is my fault for not finding a way to make everyone understand it.  For that, I apologize, truly.

I’m actually almost done with chapter 135.  I do hope to post it Friday, on schedule.  (I usually release Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays).  Of course, after the next few chapters, there is a good chance that I might have to go into hiding for a while … I guess we’ll see what bashing might come my way after that lol.

TITLE: The Christmas Cake
LINK: http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/111115/594943/
SUMMARY: When Gin makes a special Christmas request of Cain, can he deliver …?

Stats: 105 pages in MS Word

Enjoy!!