~~Chapter 3~~

~Filling the Void~

 

 

InuYasha wrinkled his nose and glared at the clothes lying on Kagome’s bed. Standing in the doorway of the entirely too-familiar room, he could feel the emptiness in the air and stifled a sigh. Mrs. Higurashi had bought him clothes to help him ‘fit in’, and he knew she was trying to be helpful but it didn’t alleviate the bitter stab of resentment that surged in him.

 

‘Kagome . . . didn’t care that I didn’t ‘fit in‘.

 

Out of sight, out of mind, or however that saying went . . . The only thing that Kagome seemed to mind was that other people would see his dog ears, and since the initial reaction to those in the modern age was for people to want to touch them, he didn’t mind wearing the baseball cap. She never asked him to dress differently. She never really asked for much.

 

‘Ain’t nothing wrong with my fire rat clothes,’ he grumped as he turned away from the room and stomped toward the stairs. ‘I ain’t wearing those. No one can make me! Keh!‘

 

Souta was lying on his stomach in the living room, playing one of his ‘video games’ with Hitomi. There had been a few times before, when the boy would try to get InuYasha to play, too.

 

“Inu-no-nii-chan, you can play the winner,” Souta offered without looking at the hanyou.

 

“That’ll be me,” Hitomi assured him.

 

Souta scowled at the girl and rolled his eyes. “Fat chance! You stink at this game!”

 

“Oh, really? Then who beat whom the other day at the arcade? That’s right; it was Hitomi-chan, wasn’t it?”

 

“Because I let you!”

 

“You did not!”

 

InuYasha’s decisive snort went unheeded by the arguing youngsters as he tried not to remember the same sort of petty arguments that normally ended with an irritated miko yelling the word that InuYasha both despised and somehow craved. “Osuwari!”

 

‘Keh! I don’t miss that, damn it! Why the fuck would I miss that, of all things?‘

 

Still the emptiness surged inside him as the ache of missing her grew more intense, uglier.

 

“You’re such a pain, Hitomi-chan!”

 

“And you’re such a baka, Souta-kun!”

 

‘Playing’s for pups,’ InuYasha thought sourly, ignoring the argument that struck a little too close to home. ‘I ain’t got time for that.’

 

He didn’t, not really. Spending all his waking moments trying to concoct a way to reopen the Bone Eater’s Well, to find a way back to the past—to Kagome . . . Those thoughts were the things that kept him moving, kept him thinking, drove him like the threat of Naraku never had. To think that there really wasn’t any way to get back to her would be akin to giving up, and, well, InuYasha had never been very good at that, either.

 

Grandpa Higurashi shuffled through the back door, eyes shifting around the living room as though he were looking for something in particular. His gaze lit on InuYasha and stuck. The hanyou’s ears twitched as the man drew near, as he reached into his shirt and pulled out an ofuda.

 

InuYasha glared menacingly at the old man. He didn’t trust the strange look in Grandpa’s eyes, and when the old man raised the paper charm to put it on InuYasha, he drew his lips back in a fierce snarl meant to ward off the action. Grandpa ignored the obvious warning, slapping the paper on InuYasha’s head. InuYasha pulled it off and crumpled it in his fist. “I told you, old man, your stupid little pieces of paper don’t work on me!”

 

Grandpa grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Next time it will,” before shuffling off toward the kitchen.

 

‘We’ll see about that,’ InuYasha thought with a decisive snort. ‘Yeah, it ain’t happening . . . the only one who could purify or seal me is Kagome, and she ain’t—’ His ears drooped as he cut himself off. Glancing around quickly to ascertain that no one else had noticed his momentary lapse, he made a face. ‘She ain’t here. Stupid Kagome . . .’

 

It confused him a little. Since finding out that Kagome hadn’t made it back after purifying the Shikon no Tama, her grandfather had been almost hostile toward him. InuYasha didn’t care—at least, that’s what he told himself. He only wished he knew why. It was almost as if the old man blamed him for Kagome staying in the past, and in a way, it was true. InuYasha strode toward the doors, figuring that Goshinboku was the best place to be at the moment. At least he would be safe from little brothers and irritated grandfathers. Then he could think in peace.

 

Leaping into the highest branches to hide in the relative tranquility of the God Tree, InuYasha settled back with a dejected snort, thrust his arms together in the sleeves of the haori. He figured he had a good hour or two before Mrs. Higurashi came looking for him. She had an annoying habit of doing that at odd moments during the day. She always stared at him with a slight frown, as if she thought he was going to sprout another four heads and start breathing fire.

 

He knew that the Shikon no Tama had been the reason the well had been allowing the time travel in the first place. He could understand that, he supposed. It hadn’t really surprised him when the well had closed. To be completely honest, he’d rather expected it. He just hadn’t expected Kagome to wish to stay in his time. Why should she? Sure, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou were there, but her family was here. Her friends were here. All her modern conveniences and those things she couldn’t seem to live without were here—things like shampoo and the rest of the things that she loved to remind him of on a daily basis.

 

Even then . . .

 

Even then, the worst of it all was the feeling that he was absolutely useless here. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but there just weren’t the numbers of youkai these days—if there were any at all—which he was seriously starting to doubt. But that didn’t make sense, did it? Youkai were strong. There was no way that they’d be extinct.

 

Nope, the one in real danger from youkai was Kagome, and that was one of the many thoughts that tended to keep him up at night, too. Sure, she had Miroku and Sango with her, and he knew damn well that they would look after her, but he was the one, wasn’t he? The one who always rushed in, the one who always saved Kagome.

 

‘Sure, except you’re underestimating her—again.’

 

InuYasha snorted indelicately. ‘No way! She’s just a pathetic human—and a girl! She cries at everything, remember? And she never shuts up . . . Maybe she could blab the youkai to death . . .’

 

Then he sighed. The truth of it was that as much as InuYasha liked to think that Kagome needed his protection, she didn’t, not really. He’d started suspecting early on that she chose to let him protect her, and maybe she understood that somewhere deep down, someplace hidden in the confines of his psyche, maybe he needed to protect her. She was smart, she was strong . . . and maybe InuYasha was the one who really needed Kagome far more than Kagome had ever needed him.

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

“Did not.”

 

“Did, too.”

 

“Did not.”

 

“Did, too.”

 

“I did not, you liar!”

 

“You did, too, you baka!”

 

“I don’t think it matters, which one of you emptied the last water bottle,” Sango interrupted reasonably. “We’ll refill them as soon as we stop for the night. It isn’t a problem.”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes as she hitched her bow over her shoulder and spared a glance behind her at the fighting youkai children. Bunza sat on Sango’s lap, sticking his tongue out at the kitsune, while Shippou crouched on Miroku’s shoulder, glowering back at the lynx-youkai. They really couldn’t seem to stand one another, and Kagome wasn’t entirely sure why it would be so. As though they were vying for some sort of rank in the social hierarchy of the group, Shippou and Bunza were wearing on her already thin nerves. She wished they would just stop bickering.

 

“That’s enough, you two,” Miroku said, heaving an audible sigh as he slowly shook his head. “This looks like as good a place as any to make camp.”

 

Kagome dropped her backpack and rummaged around for the water bottles. “I don’t like him, Kagome,” Shippou said as he scampered over to her side. “He’s shifty . . . How do we know InuYasha really helped him before? We don’t, do we? We can’t trust just anyone, right?”

 

“Shippou,” Kagome began in a warning tone. “He’s just a little boy like you. I’m sure you’ll be friends once you get to know him.”

 

Shippou wrinkled his nose, crossing his arms over his chest and reminding Kagome of InuYasha during one of his stubborn moments. “Here,” she said, digging a packet of pocky out of one of the last boxes in her backpack. “Why don’t you try to make peace with Bunza? I’m sure he’d like pocky as much as you do.”

 

The kitsune looked appalled at the suggestion that he share his precious snack with the lynx. Kagome stood up with the water bottles, ruffled Shippou’s russet hair as she shot him an encouraging smile before heading off to find the stream.

 

The late afternoon sunshine reflected off the rippling water as a sultry heat brought an instant sheen of sweat to Kagome’s brow. Wishing that she’d taken the time to change into a cooler blouse, she couldn’t help wondering how warm it was back home; couldn’t help wondering how InuYasha was adjusting to life on the other side of the Bone Eater’s Well. Hunkering down beside the water’s edge, Kagome rinsed the water bottles before she began to fill them.

 

“Those two get along as well as InuYasha and Kouga on their best day,” Sango remarked as she stepped out of the trees to kneel beside Kagome next to the stream. Taking up an empty bottle, the youkai exterminator wiped her brow and blew out a breath of air that sent her bangs flying up off her forehead. “You’ve been quiet,” she remarked, trying for a casual tone of voice.

 

Kagome tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. Sango tilted her head in a compassionate sort of way, and the gesture only served to make Kagome feel that much worse. “Sorry, Sango-chan . . . I guess I’ve just not been in the most talkative of moods lately.”

 

“It’s okay. We all understand. We miss him, too . . . even Kirara does.”

 

“I feel so stupid,” Kagome admitted, gazing at the water, at the silvery glints of sunlight that reminded her of InuYasha’s hair, of the way it blew behind him, rippling in the breeze as he ran through the forest. “I’ll bet he blames me for being there. I blame myself for him being there . . .”

 

“That’s not true. How were you to know that he’d want to go to your time?”

 

Kagome smiled sadly, digging a rumpled kerchief out of her pocket and dipping it into the tepid water. “That’s just it, you know? He always complained about my time. Too noisy, too smelly . . . too crowded . . . I never thought he’d choose it. I never thought . . .” She shrugged and squeezed the excess moisture out of the kerchief before wiping her face. “What do you think he’s doing right now? Do you think . . . do you think he misses us, just a little?”

 

“Kagome, of course he does! He chose your time because of you. He must have believed you’d choose it, too. Then you’d have been together.”

 

Sango was right, and Kagome knew it. Still it offered little in the way of consolation when there was no way to fix the wishes gone wrong. In the two days since they’d left the village to help Bunza’s clan, Kagome had started to come to grips with the idea that InuYasha might not be able to come back at all. She didn’t want to believe it. She also couldn’t think of a single way to change it. The well was closed. Midoriko had said as much, and while InuYasha might have lived through the five hundred years separating them if the situation were reversed, Kagome wouldn’t be able to do that.

 

“It’s so stupid,” Kagome mumbled with a shake of her head. “Just . . . stupid, you know?”

 

Sango sighed and shook her head. Kagome could see it in her friend’s gaze. Sango felt helpless, as though nothing she could say or do would really make a difference, at all. Maybe it wouldn’t, but it did help to know that she was surrounded by people who loved her. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou . . . they were as close as family.

 

‘InuYasha . . . will you find that, too?‘

 

Thinking about that brought the memory of her mother’s face to mind. Sharp and poignant, Kagome couldn’t quite grasp the idea that she really wouldn’t see her again. ‘Mama will help you, InuYasha . . . She’ll do it because that’s what Mama does. I don’t think she’ll be able to help herself, but maybe you’ll help her, too . . . Maybe you’ll help her so she doesn’t miss me . . .’

 

Kagome shifted her gaze toward the hazy blue sky. ‘Such a perfect evening,’ she thought with a stifled sigh as she drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. How often had InuYasha and she sat on evenings such as these, content to stare off into the distance from the highest boughs of Goshinboku? No words had ever been spoken. They hadn’t really needed them back then. It was enough to sit beside him, to accept the quiet comfort of his presence.

 

She felt like a child all over again. She felt the same uncertainty and fear she knew on that first day of school long ago. Staring at the strange faces of the other children in her class, she’d wanted her mother to take her back to the safety and security of the shrine. In the end she’d been fine, of course. Kagome had never forgotten that feeling of dread—the same one she felt again years later after she’d fallen through the Bone Eater’s Well in the time before she had met InuYasha . . .

 

The same sky felt emptier now. The world seemed darker and somehow sadder. Still, she knew that with every second that passed, every minute that slipped away, the memories she held so dear—so vivid in her mind—would fade with time until all that was left was the thin wisp of a hazy vision, and the cherished memory of sensations that might make her stop and think and wonder. She would remember his name. She would remember that she loved him. Would he remember her? ‘Such a sense of serenity . . . but I can’t find any real comfort in it, at all . . .’

 

The fluffy clouds resembled the shape of a surly hanyou, and the smell on the wings of the subtle breeze smelled like him: like InuYasha.

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

“She’s not doing as well as she wants us to believe,” Sango said softly, staring across the dancing flames of the campfire at the sleeping miko.

 

Miroku stifled a sigh and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Of course she isn’t. She misses him, as we all do. They’ve always shared a special bond. It stands to reason she misses him more.”

 

“A special bond?” Sango echoed as Kirara curled up on her lap. “She loves him. She’s loved him forever.”

 

“Small comfort that he verified what we all suspected,” Miroku agreed. “His actions proved it, didn’t they? He chose to be with Kagome, but he never thought . . .” He trailed off and shook his head, sighed as he turned his head to stare at Bunza, who was curled up on a blanket nearby.

 

She fell quiet for a moment, her gaze careful, direct as she slowly stroked the fire-cat’s fur. “What’ll become of her, without InuYasha? She chose to stay here because of him, but . . . But he’s not here, and I don’t think . . . He can’t come back, can he?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Miroku agreed. “I don’t know of anyone who could reopen a time slip.”

 

“I just wish there was something we could do.”

 

“I know what you mean. I feel that way, too. There isn’t really anything we can do for Kagome, aside from being her friends. She’s strong. She’ll be fine.”

 

“I know. It just makes me angry,” Sango said suddenly, vehemence thinning her voice to a hiss as her eyes sparked dangerously. Miroku winced inwardly. He’d seen that look one time too many. Her fire, her passion, the same fierce determination . . . He adored that about her. He adored everything about her . . . “Why would Midoriko do such a thing? She had to have known, didn’t she?”

 

“I don’t know, Sango. We can’t ask her. She had to have had her reasons.”

 

“Houshi-sama . . .”

 

He could feel her troubled gaze but didn’t dare to look at her.

 

“What did Midoriko say to you?”

 

‘I cannot change things for you. I cannot lessen your fears nor can I dispel your doubts. I can tell you that the things you seek are not impossible. The path is troublesome, but you, Miroku . . . you must be certain that it is what you truly want.’

 

Shaking off the sadness inspired by Midoriko’s words, Miroku forced a half-smile as he tossed another log onto the fire. “It’s not important, Sango. Don’t worry about it.”

 

She looked like she wasn’t sure what to believe. His words were confident enough, but he knew that she could see right through his attempt to evade her question. He didn’t doubt for a second that she was far from buying his feeble attempts to placate her.

 

“It’s hard to believe that the Shikon no Tama is gone, isn’t it?” she finally asked. “It seems strange. I want to be happy, but . . .” Her words died away as her gaze returned to Kagome’s sleeping form again. Sango sighed and shook her head. “Maybe it was true. Maybe what we did to purify it . . . maybe it was our faults.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Miroku replied. “It’s all right to be happy. You lost your village and your family because of Naraku’s evil wish to possess the jewel. You’ve earned the right.”

 

“Not all of my family,” she ventured quietly. Her gaze fell to her hands, clasped in her lap.

 

“He’ll come back eventually,” Miroku told her.

 

Sango sighed and bobbed her shoulders as a hint of a blush crept up her cheeks. “I sound so petty, don’t I? I should just be glad—thankful—that Kohaku lived, and here I am, whining because he is off on his own . . .”

 

“I don’t think that’s whining, and I don’t think you’re petty, either,” Miroku said gently. “Maybe, instead of dwelling on the idea that he’s out there alone, you should think about the things you want to do.”

 

“Like what?” she asked, her tone more questioning than challenging.

 

Miroku considered it before answering. “I don’t know, Sango . . . Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.”

 

“I want to restore my people,” she replied automatically. “When I think about my village . . . when I think about the sadness that lives there . . .” Trailing off with a sigh, she shook her head. “I want there to be laughter again. I want to be able to smile when I think about it—when I look at it.”

 

Miroku chuckled. “I think that’s a fine ambition, Sango.”

 

She didn’t respond, but she didn’t have to. He could sense a definite lightening in the air surrounding her, and while he knew that she wouldn’t delude herself into thinking that it would be easy, he did know that there was no one quite like her once she set her mind to something.

 

“And you?” she asked at length.

 

“Me?”

 

She nodded. “What is it that you want, houshi-sama?”

 

Miroku smiled as Sango’s gaze rose to meet his. Reluctant, unsure, her body seemed to whisper things that his mind tried desperately to ignore. It was the closest they’d been since the night they had gathered to purify the jewel. Too worried about Kagome to concentrate on anything else, Miroku and Sango’s moments had been few and far between since the mishap. There were still too many things that Miroku wasn’t sure he could ask of her, too many sacrifices that she would have to make. She would choose to make them, wouldn’t she? She’d smile and say it was her choice, after all.

 

Miroku shifted his gaze away, unable to voice his concerns. If there were no answers for InuYasha and Kagome, what were the odds that there would be any for the likes of him? “That’s simple,” he said, his tone deliberately teasing her. “I have earned the right to sleep. Between Shippou and Bunza, it’s been a really, really long day, don’t you think?”

 

Sango was caught off-guard by his flip answer. For a moment, he thought she was going to call him on the intentional sidestepping of her question. In the end, she stretched out on her blanket. Kirara curled up in a ball of fur beside her.

 

Miroku stared at the fire for a long time. When he glanced over at Sango, she was asleep.

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

InuYasha kicked a rock as he wandered through the familiar forest, trying to ignore the strange sense of emptiness that surrounded him. Located behind the shrine, he’d sought refuge here after Mrs. Higurashi’s well-meaning but unwelcome attempts to cajole him into trying on the clothes she’s purchased for him. All of the animals that used to roam the same forest were gone, chased away by too many humans, by the smelly air of the hulking buildings that loomed over the top of the trees: the city of Tokyo. It used to be his forest. It used to be filled with birds and animals, and even the trees were silent now, relegated to the role of little more than nuisances that hindered the further development of the vast city.

 

He’d never understand this time, and without Kagome, he didn’t really want to.

 

The feeling of utter helplessness was something that nearly killed him. Used to being able to fight through whatever opposition came his way, the foreign sense that the situation was entirely beyond his control was enough to put him on edge. For the first time in his life, the antagonist was something he couldn’t touch or see or smell. He couldn’t track it, he couldn’t hunt it, he couldn’t confront it. ‘How the hell am I supposed to defeat it?‘ It wasn’t as simple as a youkai, standing between Kagome and him. No amount of hollering or fighting was going to change it. Digging in the well until his fingers bled under his claws didn’t work, either. He’d tried everything he could think of. He’d run out of ideas.

 

Kagome.

 

What was she doing now? Did she miss him? Did she worry about him? Was she trying to figure out a way to get to her time?

 

Mrs. Higurashi had mentioned that she was checking into finding a tutor for InuYasha. He hadn’t really understood what that meant, but as she kept talking, he had gotten the distinct feeling that whatever she meant couldn’t possibly be good. She said that since they didn’t really know how long InuYasha would be staying with them, that it was safest to assume that he’d be there indefinitely, and if that were the case, then he’d need to have an education.

 

He did understand what education meant. It meant the same to him that it had to Kagome: tests and exams and stupid books. ‘Keh! Over my dead body,‘ he grumbled, stomping a little faster as he flicked his ears and glowered at the sparse grass on the forest floor. He hated when Kagome ignored him in favor of studying. There was no way in hell he was going to do the same thing . . .

 

But the main reason he didn’t want to cooperate was the irrational notion that in doing so, he would be accepting his fate, and if he accepted that, then it meant that he never really was meant to be with Kagome, didn’t it? It meant that he would have to give up hope.

 

‘Stupid Kagome . . . What was she thinking? She knew I’d choose to be here with her. She had to have known. Why does she always have to be so difficult? I swear she did this on purpose. Some sort of stupid trick of hers, ain’t it? She’s always trying to push me . . . I’ll bet she did this just to piss me off! Well, I’ll show her! I . . . I don’t care! Why should I care when she didn’t? If she did, she’d be here, too, wouldn’t she? If she cared . . . Wench . . .’

 

He sighed, scowl dissipating as InuYasha’s ears flattened against his head. It was simpler to be angry with her than it was to let himself feel anything else. It was easier to deal with that. It was far less complicated to tell himself that she didn’t care, that she’d done all this on purpose. Irritation and rage were things he knew. Those emotions had always worked to cover the truth of his feelings. Kagome had peeled away those layers, had uncovered a vulnerability that InuYasha truly despised. In the time they’d spent together, he’d allowed Kagome to see more of his heart, more of his emotions, than he’d ever showed a single soul.

 

He needed a good fight. Unused to living in a time and place where youkai were either unseen or had ceased to exist, InuYasha’s outlet for his pent-up frustration had been taken away. At least if he were still in the past, he’d only have to go so far as to search out his bastard of a half-brother. Always willing to oblige him in a decent fight, InuYasha figured that was Sesshoumaru’s single saving grace. Then, too, he could have looked for Kouga . . .

 

At the thought of the wolf-youkai tribe’s leader, InuYasha stopped and uttered a low growl. ‘Damn that Kouga . . . He’d better stay the hell away from Kagome . . . Knowing that coward, he’ll be sniffing around her just as soon as he figures out I’m not there . . .’

 

Wincing as the memory of Kouga, holding Kagome in his arms after the mangy wolf kidnapped her so long ago, InuYasha’s growl escalated as he cracked his knuckles. Kagome didn’t like Kouga—at least, not that way—but that hadn’t ever stopped Kouga from trying, and InuYasha didn’t even try to delude himself into thinking that the wolf-youkai wouldn’t try it again, especially when he found out that InuYasha was gone.

 

‘Yeah, that ain’t happening,’ InuYasha snarled. ‘I’ll kill Kouga if he tries anything . . . See if I don’t!‘

 

A streak of movement off to the right caught his attention, and he turned his head. ‘Who the hell is that, and what the fuck is he doing in my forest?‘ InuYasha thought with a scowl as he cracked his knuckles and darted toward the blurry figure running through the trees. ‘Youkai? No . . . hanyou . . .’

 

InuYasha sneezed and lifted his sleeve to cover his nose as he chased after the hanyou. He stank—really stank—-smelled like a mix of scents, and not one of the scents seemed natural. It was almost as though he were hiding his true scent, but the odor of the fumes emanating from the strange hanyou prevented InuYasha from even beginning to discern a thing. Silvery hair and hanyou dog ears, and when the hanyou looked back over his shoulder, InuYasha narrowed his gaze. Golden eyes, a knowing grin . . . There was a familiarity about the hanyou that InuYasha couldn’t place. ‘Who the hell is that?‘ he asked himself again as he increased his speed, as he sprinted after the stranger.

 

Cresting a low rise that dropped sharply to create a small gully, InuYasha skidded to a halt as the hanyou he’d been chasing stopped beside the one being InuYasha hadn’t bargained on ever having to see again.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

Amber eyes lit with unabashed amusement flicked coolly over InuYasha and dismissed him just as quickly as InuYasha fought down the fierce growl that welled in his throat.

 

“It’s been a long time—worthless half-breed.”

 

 

<<< 002: Changes

004: Ashes to Ashes >>>

~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~

A/N:

Ofuda: paper charm.

== == == == == == == == == ==

Final Thought from InuYasha:

Who the hell is that?

==========

Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Desideratum): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

~Sue~

~~Chapter 2~~

~Changes~

 

 

“I see.”

 

InuYasha jammed his arms up the sleeves of his haori as he tried to keep his ears from flattening against his head while sitting on the kitchen floor next to the doorway with his knees up to his chest and his hands on the floor between his feet.

 

Mrs. Higurashi’s face was pale and drawn, ashen, and InuYasha winced as he noticed the trembling in her hands as she brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “So you don’t think she can get back through.”

 

Swallowing hard to force down the thickening in his throat, InuYasha jerked his head once in answer. “The well’s closed. I checked it.”

 

She sighed, licking her lips before pressing them together in a thin line. “I don’t understand,” she began in a quiet monotone, “I don’t see how this could have happened.”

 

‘Because,’ he thought as he scowled at the floor. ‘I was careless . . . I thought . . . and she . . . Damn that Kagome . . . always doing stupid shit, and now . . .’

 

Mrs. Higurashi pushed herself to her feet and hurried over to the cupboard, rummaging around until she located a big Styrofoam cup of instant ramen. It didn’t take long for her to open the container and dump in the boiling water. Her actions reminded InuYasha of her daughter, of how Kagome would do things simply to keep herself from having to think about things that troubled her.

 

The smile that surfaced on Mrs. Higurashi’s face was somehow horrifying to him. As thin and weak as a grimace . . . “You must be hungry, right? We already ate, but . . . You’re probably starving.”

 

InuYasha ducked his head at the smooth tone, the calmness that she used to hide her emotions. ‘What the fuck is wrong with her? I just told her Kagome ain’t coming back, and . . . and she’s making me ramen? What the hell is she doing?‘

 

“Do you have a place to go, InuYasha?” Uttering a terse little laugh, the woman waved a hand dismissively, as though she’d figured something out on her own. “Of course you don’t, do you? You can stay here, naturally. Souta and Grandpa . . . and I . . . we’d really like for you to stay.”

 

“Thank you,” he grumbled, ears flattening for a moment before he willed them to pop up again.

 

Mrs. Higurashi sighed again, her gaze rising to stare out the window at the darkness . . . at Goshinboku’s leaves swaying in the summer night. “You can stay in K-Kagome’s room,” she said at last, her voice faltering when she tried to say her daughter’s name. “Yes, she’d want you to.”

 

‘Stay in her room?‘

 

Could he do that? To be surrounded by Kagome’s things . . . to be so near the objects that were hers and yet to know in his heart that she couldn’t get to him? InuYasha shook his head. “I’ll sleep in Goshinboku,” he mumbled.

 

“If that’s what you want,” Mrs. Higurashi agreed, forcing another smile that was paper-thin.

 

“Inu-no-nii-chan! You’re here! Where’s nee-chan?” Souta asked as he ran into the kitchen with his best friend on his heels. Hitomi skidded to a stop and bowed to Mrs. Higurashi before cocking her head to the side and staring at InuYasha—or more precisely, at his ears. He’d seen the girl a few times. He’d even spoken to her once, but he’d been wearing a kerchief to hide his ears, at Kagome’s insistence, of course.

 

Souta used to have a crush on Hitomi—that was what Kagome called it. She said it was puppy love, and while InuYasha had taken offense to that reference, he sort of understood what it meant. Souta and Hitomi hadn’t been boyfriend and girlfriend long, but they had become friends, and that sort of friendship was hard to find. InuYasha knew that, first hand.

 

“You have . . . dog ears!” Hitomi blurted, cheeks turning bright red about the moment the words left her mouth as she slapped her hands over her lips, eyes widening in shock at her slip. “I’m sorry!”

 

Souta laughed. “Sure he does! He’s hanyou—inu-hanyou!”

 

“I didn’t know that, baka!” Hitomi growled as she rounded on Souta. The boy backed up, fingers splayed as he waved his hands to protest his innocence.

 

“It’s fine! Calm down! Inu-no-nii-chan doesn’t mind, do you?”

 

InuYasha took the ramen from Mrs. Higurashi and shot Souta a cursory glance. He didn’t feel like eating, but for some reason, he thought that Mrs. Higurashi would be upset if he didn’t. “Keh.”

 

“See?” Souta sputtered as he backed away from Hitomi’s wrath.

 

“But I didn’t know it, and . . .” Hitomi gasped. “Souta! You said you tell me everything! You’re a liar!”

 

“I didn’t lie! I just didn’t tell you! Inu-no-nii-chan!”

 

“You’re on your own, runt,” InuYasha grunted between bites of ramen.

 

“Where’s nee-chan? She can explain this better than I can,” Souta insisted.

 

InuYasha choked on the ramen that he’d been eating. Mrs. Higurashi uttered a tiny sound that reminded him of Kirara’s soft mewling when the youkai was in her normal form. The stubborn desire to eat the ramen dissipated, and InuYasha set the bowl on the floor with a hefty thump, sending a wave of broth over the edge of the Styrofoam as his chopsticks hit the floor with an obscenely loud clatter.

 

“What’d I say?” Souta asked, staring from InuYasha to his mother and back again.

 

Mrs. Higurashi cleared her throat as she glanced over Souta’s head. Grandpa Higurashi shuffled into the kitchen. While he seemed surprised to see InuYasha crouching on the floor, he didn’t remark on it, and InuYasha had to wonder if the old man knew something. “She’s gone, isn’t she?” he asked without preamble, his voice a dry whisper as he gripped Mrs. Higurashi’s shoulder.

 

“Who’s gone?” Souta asked, the first real hint of panic seeping into his tone.

 

Mrs. Higurashi shot InuYasha an indiscernible glance and slowly nodded. “I think so.”

 

Grandpa’s hand dropped away, and he turned, stumbling back out of the kitchen without another word and still without even glancing at the hanyou.

 

InuYasha winced, hearing the old man’s muffled sobs mingled with the creak of the stairs. The others probably didn’t hear it, and that was what he wanted. InuYasha wished that he hadn’t heard it, either.

 

“Nee-chan’s gone?” Souta demanded, shaking his head as he scowled at his mother. “How? How could she be . . . But Inu-no-nii-chan’s here . . .”

 

InuYasha shot to his feet and stomped out of the house, through the back door, not pausing till he reached the base of Goshinboku. Leaping into the uppermost branches of the gnarled old tree, he hid himself among the leaves, smacked his head back against the trunk as he balled his hands into fists, biting his lip until he tasted blood.

 

After he spoke to Midoriko—after he told her what it was he wanted—he’d appeared in the bottom of the dry well. His senses had told him immediately that he was in Kagome’s era, in Kagome’s time. He knew it, and yet he couldn’t accept it. Jumping out of the well only to leap back in again, he’d tried to ignore the voice in his mind, the one that told him that he wasn’t going to get back through. He’d made his choice, but what he didn’t understand was how it had gone so wrong.

 

‘I want to be in Kagome’s world. That’s what I . . . I want . . .’

 

Midoriko had smiled at him, and he had thought, for that brief moment, that maybe dreams did come true. When he’d started to disappear, when he’d realized that Kagome wasn’t coming with him . . .

 

His stomach twisted itself in knots. Surrounded by a world that didn’t make sense to him, lost in a place where he didn’t really belong, any more than he belonged in the world five hundred years ago, InuYasha closed his eyes and moaned softly. The only place he’d ever belonged was beside Kagome. The only times he’d ever felt completely accepted was when Kagome smiled at him. To be here or there or anywhere without her . . .

 

‘Stupid Kagome . . . This is her fault! She was supposed to want to be with me! She . . . she wasn’t supposed to leave me alone . . .’

 

“Can I stay with you, InuYasha?”

 

“It’s all right, you know . . . I’m with you by choice . . .”

 

And all the tears she’d cried for him . . . after all the times he’d let her down, all the times he’d failed her . . .

 

All those moments when she hadn’t said a word because she didn’t need to . . .

 

Something inside him was breaking, shattering. The terror that choked him as he thought of never seeing Kagome’s face again was so much worse than the wounds he’d received while he sought to protect her.

 

She was his reason for living, wasn’t she?

 

She was his entire world, and now . . .

 

Now she was gone . . .

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

“. . . Won’t eat . . .”

 

“. . . Hasn’t slept . . .”

 

“. . . How long . . .?”

 

“. . . Will she . . .?”

 

“. . . Because he’s . . .”

 

“Poor Kagome-chan . . .”

 

Kagome stared into the blackness of the gaping hole and blinked slowly. If she stopped to consider what she was doing, she would have realized that there was no way that it would happen. The well wasn’t going to suddenly open, and InuYasha . . .

 

Her eyelids burned, her throat ached, and she wished she could cry. Sure, she’d come close to crying more than once. She’d teetered on the brink—nose burning, eyes prickling, lip trembling. It was her last hope; a desperate hope. She sat here on the edge of the Bone Eater’s Well every day for the last three days since the night InuYasha had disappeared. She hadn’t been able to muster the courage to drop into it yet. In her heart she knew the well was closed. In her mind, she knew that there really wasn’t a way to bridge the five hundred year separation, but she couldn’t help hoping, wishing, wondering . . . If she wanted it bad enough, couldn’t a wish come true? If she promised enough of herself, would it count for anything?

 

Hitching her backpack over her shoulder again, Kagome braced herself on the edge of the well. ‘It has to let me through, right? It . . . it has to . . .’

 

“Kagome-chan . . .”

 

She didn’t turn at the sound of Sango’s soft voice. Gripping the wall until her fingertips turned white, Kagome braced her feet against the wood, ready to push off and drop.

 

“Kagome-chan, please . . .”

 

“I’ve got to try,” Kagome whispered, unable to look her friend in the eye, unable to deal with the pity in her expression that Kagome knew she would see.

 

“Do you think it’ll work? Do you really?”

 

“It has to work.”

 

“But what if it doesn’t? What if . . .? It’s a long drop.”

 

“And if you were me? If Miroku were InuYasha instead? You’d try; I know you would.”

 

Sango didn’t deny it. She sighed and touched Kagome’s arm. No one had tried to touch Kagome since that night. Whether they were afraid of her miko power or if they just didn’t know what to expect, not one of her friends had tried to say anything. She heard them whispering, knew of their concerns. Some things were more important; things like InuYasha and the things they hadn’t gotten a chance to say . . .

 

“I have to try,” she stated again. “I have to.”

 

“If you do, and it doesn’t work—”

 

Kagome shook her head. “If I do and it doesn’t work, then at least I’ll have tried.”

 

“Kagome-dono, wait!” Miroku called, the hoops on the Shakuju jingling as he hurried forward. “Listen, please. If you jump in there, and you don’t go through, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

 

She didn’t know how to explain it to them. She didn’t know how to make them listen. Part of her was already broken. Part of her felt like it was dying.

 

A low rumble split the afternoon. A tell-tale rustling in the trees drew their attention. The bag slipped off Kagome’s shoulder as she flipped her legs back around to the solid side of the well. Miroku spared the women a glance before he stepped forward, waving for them to stay behind. “It’s youkai,” Sango murmured, holding onto Kagome’s arm as the miko retrieved her bow and arrows.

 

The lynx youkai ran out of the forest, spotting the group and running straight toward them. He was young—not much older than Shippou, and by the time he skidded to a stop before them, he was panting for breath, his ears drooping in exhaustion as he tried to speak and draw air at the same time. “Looking . . . for . . . Inu . . . Yasha . . .” he gasped. “Hi, Kirara!”

 

The fire cat youkai mewled and rubbed against the lynx youkai’s leg.

 

“He looks shifty,” Shippou remarked, tugging on Kagome’s sock. “I wouldn’t trust him . . .”

 

“It’s okay, Shippou,” Kagome assured him. “I think he’s fine.”

 

“Yeah, but he knows InuYasha. That can’t be good.”

 

“Hush, Shippou,” Sango hissed, waving her hand at the kitsune to silence him.

 

“InuYasha? Who are you, and what business do you have with him?” Kagome asked evenly.

 

“Name’s Bunza,” he replied. “My tribe is being attacked. InuYasha said that if we ever needed him . . .”

 

“Attacked by what?” Sango asked.

 

Bunza shrugged and made a face. “There’s an oni that came down from the mountain. He says that my father woke him, and he’s demanding retribution. My father could take care of it, no problem, but . . . but he’s been sick lately . . .”

 

Kagome sighed. InuYasha could have easily helped Bunza, she was sure, and even if he grumbled about it, he’d have done it. How many people did InuYasha leave behind? How many people need his protection, his help? ‘Oh, InuYasha . . . I wish you were here . . .’

 

The monk frowned, glancing over his shoulder at Kagome.

 

“How do you know InuYasha?” she asked, kneeling down before the young youkai.

 

Bunza stared at her curiously, head tilted to the side as his eyes narrowed. “We trained together with Master Totosai. We wanted to learn to break barriers. InuYasha helped me save my father that time. He’s my kouhai.”

 

“Kouhai?” Miroku echoed rather incredulously.

 

“Yeah, because I was there first, so I was his sempai. InuYasha was pretty tough, but he was still only my kouhai.”

 

“Did he thump you for saying that?” Shippou asked, peeking out from behind Sango’s legs.

 

“No, he was kind to me,” Bunza replied. “He gave me his fish and stuff.”

 

Shippou hopped down and ran over to Bunza. The two youkai children were practically nose to nose, staring at each other like they were sizing up the competition. “You’re just a lynx. You’re not very tough,” Shippou remarked.

 

“Yeah? You’re just a kitsune. Kitsunes use tricks and toys,” Bunza shot back.

 

“Kitsunes are masters of deception,” Shippou replied hotly.

 

“And lynxes are faster that stupid kitsunes, so we don’t need your babyish deceptions!”

 

“InuYasha’s not here,” Kagome said, struggling to keep her voice steady as she pulled Shippou back before the two started fighting for real. Shippou tried to pull himself free but settled for sticking his tongue out at Bunza. Bunza retaliated in kind as Kagome sighed and shook her head. “Maybe we can help you.”

 

“Kagome . . . are you sure?” Sango questioned as Kagome stood up.

 

Kagome nodded, retrieving her bag, a determination stealing into her gaze; a determination that had been missing of late. “InuYasha would do it,” she stated. “I can do it, too.”

 

 

<<< 001: Deebacle

003: Filling the Void >>>

~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~

A/N:

Nee-chan: big sister. Souta refers to Kagome in this way.

Inu-no-nii-chan: This is the cutest thing, ever. Souta calls InuYasha this: dog-big-brother, basically.

–dono: largely archaic honorific denoting very high respect.  Typically denotes status above ‘-sama’, often translated as “Lord/Lady” but does not necessarily reflect a lower social status for the speaker, as is implied.

Kouhai: roughly translated Junior (Little) Brother.

Sempai: roughly translated Senior (Big) Brother.

Shakuju: Miroku’s staff.

== == == == == == == == == ==

Final Thought from InuYasha:

Kagome …

==========

Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Desideratum): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

~Sue~

~~Chapter 1~~

~Debacle~

Three years later.

 

 

Kagome stared at the brilliant, shimmering orb in the wan light of the merrily dancing flames. Pink and white undulated inside the confines of the Shikon no Tama. It cost so much in terms of lives lost. It was impossible to look at the jewel and feel anything but utter sadness. Some of them had lost more than others, but everyone had lost something.

 

Shippou had lost his father because of the Shikon no Kakera. His father had died because of the one shard he possessed. Slain by the Thunder Brothers, Shippou was left an orphan, and his quest to avenge his father had led him to InuYasha and Kagome. The kitsune had seen too much, had lived through more than he should have had to, and because of that, he seemed so much older than his eleven years.

 

Sango, the youkai exterminator, had lost her entire village and her family, save one member: her younger brother, Kohaku. Kagome knew that Sango considered herself lucky to have been able to keep him when they hadn’t known for so long if it would be possible for him to survive once the shard that had kept him alive was removed from him. That he had was nothing short of a miracle—one granted by Kikyou just before she’d died when she transferred the light of purity from the shard in Kohaku to the boy himself . . . Now, Kohaku wandered, slaying troublesome youkai in an effort to make up for all of the mistakes he’d made in his lifetime, and while Sango was just grateful to know that he was alive, Kagome also knew that Sango wished that he would come back, that he would chose instead to stay close to her.

 

Miroku hadn’t lost as much because of the Sacred Jewel as he had in a family feud with Naraku. His grandfather had been cursed with the kazaana—the wind tunnel—and it had been passed down to Miroku’s father, and at last, to him. In those last days before they found and defeated Naraku, the kazaana had expanded so much that Kagome had feared that they would lose Miroku before they tracked Naraku down. He had been very, very lucky.

 

InuYasha had lost fifty years. Pinned to Goshinboku by Kikyou’s sacred arrow, he hadn’t been alive, but he hadn’t really been dead either. He hadn’t aged at all, and there would have been no telling how long he would have remained there if Kagome hadn’t fallen through the well. Then to find that he’d lost Kikyou, all because of Naraku’s deception . . . and then to lose her a second time . . . Kagome had seen that last kiss, and it had hurt . . . Under the stars, he’d sat holding her . . . but Kikyou had managed to save Kouga and Kohaku, both, and . . . well . . . how could she fault InuYasha for doing whatever he could do to make peace with the first woman he’d ever loved? Kikyou had chosen to die instead of living with the pain of InuYasha’s perceived betrayal the first time, and the second? The second death . . . it was the one she was supposed to have had . . . Kagome winced. InuYasha had lost so much, too.

 

Kagome’s brow furrowed as she stared at the jewel. She hadn’t lost anything, not really. Unlike the others, she’d gained more than she ever had to lose. Sure, she’d struggled to keep up in school since she spent so much time here helping her friends recover the jewel shards, but she had finished school a couple of months ago, in March. Maybe she’d had to learn how to rough it, to make due in a permanent camp-out, but she’d gained another family—dysfunctional, perhaps, but family just the same.

 

Glancing over at InuYasha, Kagome bit her bottom lip and waited for his signal. He stared at her for a long, solemn moment before nodding once. “Okay,” she murmured, squeezing the jewel tight before dropping it into Shippou’s hands.

 

The young kitsune who had grown so much since the fateful day he’d come across InuYasha and Kagome had flourished in the love he was given, the love of friends who were more like family. ‘Shippou understands what life is all about,’ Kagome mused as a gentle smile touched her lips. Drawing a deep breath, the kitsune passed the jewel to Sango.

 

The exterminator stared at the jewel in her hand, wiped a tear from her cheek as she stared at the swirling mist in the orb. She had found wisdom through her losses. ‘Sango knows what it means to lose . . . and she knows how to pick up the pieces and go on.’ Sango used that wisdom to guide her, and as she gazed at the Shikon no Tama, her sad little smile broke Kagome’s heart. Sango closed her hand around the jewel then handed it to Miroku.

 

Balancing the jewel in the hand that used to house the kazaana, Miroku caught Kagome’s gaze and nodded. ‘Miroku’s remembering that night,’ she thought absently. ‘The night he told me that the kazaana was spreading.’ How he’d managed to find the courage to face every day and to do so with a smile and his gentle grace still amazed Kagome. He dropped the jewel into InuYasha’s hand with a knowing nod and a reverent bow.

 

InuYasha didn’t hold the jewel long, simply passing it back to Kagome. ‘He trusts me to do this,’ she realized as a warm glow wrapped around her. ‘He’s learned to trust us all.’ InuYasha had found something that had eluded him for far too long. He had friends now, people who depended on him, friends to protect.

 

‘The Four Souls aren’t really one person,’ Kagome mused. ‘Sango and Miroku, Shippou and InuYasha . . . They are the four souls, and their perfect balance with each other . . . that’s what we needed to purify the Shikon no Tama. They are my sakimitama, kushimitama, aramitama, and nigimitama . . . they are my love, wisdom, courage, and . . . my friendship.’

 

As soon as the words entered her mind, the jewel rose in front of her, suspended in the air. No real wish came to her, nothing meaningful or profound. The Shikon no Tama slowly brightened, the tinge of pink dissipating. A low hum emanated from the jewel, growing louder and louder like thunder rolling across the land. The jewel shattered in a burst of light and sound. Wind erupted around them but didn’t touch the fire. Kagome lifted her hands to shield her face moments before InuYasha’s arms wrapped around her, protecting her from flying debris. As quickly as the wind had come, it diminished, and Sango’s gasp echoed in the quiet meadow.

 

InuYasha let his arms drop though he didn’t let go of Kagome. Opening her eyes, Kagome breathed sharply as she stared at the shimmering vision, the beautiful warrior-miko of legend, Midoriko. Kirara mewled softly, recognizing her former mistress. Midoriko smiled at the double-tailed fire cat-youkai and nodded her thanks. “Well done, Kirara. I missed you. Tell me, what is it you wish?”

 

Kirara mewled again, rubbing against the apparition or entity—Kagome wasn’t sure what Midoriko really was. Midoriko laughed softly as Kirara leapt into her arms. “Yes, of course . . . you simply wish to remain with Sango.”

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

Upon hearing her name, Sango lifted her chin, steadily met Midoriko’s calm gaze. The warrior-miko’s voice came to her in a whisper. Her lips didn’t move, but her smile was radiant and somehow sad. Midoriko nodded slowly, seeing past words and into Sango’s heart. ‘You and your brother are the last of your people—the protectors of the Shikon no Tama . . . Your kin died protecting my sanctuary, destroying the youkai who would threaten these lands. I cannot give you back what you have lost, and in truth, I think you’ve found a new place to belong. You wish to be with the houshi. You wish to be his wife. With a union between the two of you, you can restore what you have lost. Do you understand, Sango? It won’t be easy. Then again, some of the things you’ve found comfort in are not the things that are easily obtained.’

 

‘I understand, Midoriko.’ Casting a glance at Miroku, the taijya smiled. ‘I understand.’

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

Midoriko nodded and caressed Sango’s cheek, her fingers lingering before she let her hand drop and turned to face Miroku. ‘Houshi-sama . . . that is what she calls you, isn’t it? Your heart is conflicted, isn’t it? You know what you want, and you fear that you cannot have it.’

 

Miroku couldn’t look at the miko. She could see into his heart. She could see the conflict that divided his soul. Painful, bitter . . . Everything he’d ever wanted was right there, so close, and yet . . . Miroku didn’t dare look at Sango. ‘I . . . yes.’

 

A shadow of sadness washed over Midoriko’s feature before a compassionate smile replaced the emotion. ‘I cannot change things for you. I cannot lessen your fears, nor can I dispel your doubts. I can tell you that the things you seek are not impossible. The path is troublesome, but you, Miroku . . . you must be certain that it is what you truly want.’

 

He swallowed hard, nodded once. ‘I understand, Midoriko. You are wise.’

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

‘Young kitsune—Shippou. Your wish is the easiest of them all.‘

 

Shippou blinked as he stared up at Midoriko’s shimmering visage. ‘It is?‘

 

‘Of course. You want what you already have, don’t you? A family, though perhaps not in the traditional sense?‘

 

‘I don’t understand,’ Shippou thought as he slowly shook his head. ‘I don’t have a family . . .’

 

‘Don’t you, Shippou? Are you so certain?‘

 

‘My friends, you mean? Are they my family?‘

 

Midoriko’s smile was radiant, shining. ‘There are two kinds of family, you see. There are those who choose to have you, and there are those you choose to have.’

 

Shippou slowly shifted his gaze around the campfire, staring at his friends—his family—and he realized that Midoriko was right. ‘Thank you,’ he told her with a bashful grin. ‘I chose them a long time ago, didn’t I?‘

 

‘You did, Shippou. In the coming years, you’ll grow and mature. Always remember the things that they have taught you, even if they are no longer with you. If you hold them dear—if you hold them in your heart—they will always be there to lend you strength and comfort, and they will always hold you the same way.’

 

‘I understand, Midoriko,’ Shippou assured her. ‘I’ll do my best.’

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

InuYasha regarded the ageless miko with a curious gaze. Arms tucked around Tetsusaiga with Kagome by his side, the hanyou waited almost patiently for Midoriko to speak.

 

‘I know what is in your heart, InuYasha. I know what it is you want. Haven’t you found that already? The acceptance of others? The warmth of true friendship?‘

 

InuYasha wrinkled his nose and snorted. ‘Keh! That don’t matter. I never wanted nothing, anyway.’

 

Midoriko laughed, and InuYasha blushed as he ducked his chin and folded his arms together under the sleeves of his haori. ‘You don’t have to tell me what you want, InuYasha. You fought to protect the Shikon no Tama, and you fought to protect Kagome. You fought for your friends, and you fought for yourself. All you have to do is think about what it is that matters most to you; what it is you really want.’

 

‘Whatever.’

 

‘Mark my words, InuYasha: there may come a day when you must shed your tough exterior and let someone see into your heart. Do not be foolish enough to miss your chance.’

 

He started to scoff at the miko’s words. Something in her eyes stopped him. A sense of quiet foreboding, a single look that quelled the sarcasm, the brusqueness that he used to hide his feelings from everyone—from himself . . .

 

He stared at her for a long moment before he finally nodded, one terse jerk of his head. ‘I understand, Midoriko, but . . . it don’t make sense.‘

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

Kagome waited patiently as Midoriko leaned down, listened as InuYasha whispered something to her that Kagome didn’t hear. Intercepting Shippou’s joyful smile, she couldn’t help but smile back, and that smile lingered on her lips as she noticed the peaceful expression on Sango’s face. Whatever Midoriko had said to her friend had helped to alleviate the hint of sadness that seemed to follow Sango everywhere.

 

Kagome’s smile faltered as she glanced at Miroku. The monk was flexing his hand, frowning thoughtfully as he touched his glove that used to cover the kazaana. Fingering the prayer beads that he wore out of habit rather than necessity, he was pensive, quiet. She wished she knew why.

 

InuYasha scooted a little closer to her, and Kagome shot him a quick smile. He didn’t return the sentiment, but he did look content. Kagome didn’t have time to analyze it. Midoriko reached down, held out her hand. “Come with me, Kagome. You and I should talk.”

 

Kagome took the miko’s hand without question, brushing off her skirt as she rose to her feet. She could sense InuYasha’s reluctance to let her wander off. She gave him a reassuring smile before following Midoriko away from the campfire.

 

“Tell me what I can do for you, Kagome. Tell me how I should repay someone who possesses a heart pure enough to set me free.”

 

Kagome licked her lips nervously, feeling her palms break into a sweat. She hadn’t been sure this morning when she’d left the shrine five hundred years in the future. She’d hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. “The well’s closed, isn’t it?”

 

Her question was more of a statement than anything. She didn’t need to have anything affirmed to know. She’d felt the shift in the ground beneath her, and she’d known; of course she’d known.

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

Kagome swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. “I see.”

 

“You knew, didn’t you? You said goodbye to your mother and your brother and to your grandfather, as well. You wrote letters for your friends in hopes that they would never read them, and you kept this from InuYasha.”

 

She shrugged as she tried not to think about the things Midoriko had mentioned. It hurt enough at the time. It had hurt worse than anything she’d ever had to do before.

 

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” InuYasha grouched as he waited for Kagome to climb out of the well. Tapping his foot as he wrinkled his nose, he snorted loudly as she tossed her backpack over the ledge and pulled herself up. “Keh! Your time stinks, wench.”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I know. It’s called ‘pollution’, dog boy; now give me a hand, will you?”

 

He shook his head but caught her hands, easily dragging her over the side of the well before setting her back on her feet. Letting go of her as soon as she was on solid ground, he snorted again, pausing long enough to grab her backpack, before stomping up the stairs that led out of the well-house. Kagome sighed. ‘He’s as nervous as I am . . . He’s afraid that the jewel won’t be purified . . . or maybe he’s afraid that it will . . .’

 

It was a plan that they’d been thinking about for awhile. Kaede, the old village miko, had suggested that Kagome and the others try to purify the jewel as one, just as they had defeated Naraku years before. They’d had the jewel all this time because they hadn’t wanted to jeopardize tainting the Shikon no Tama in making a wish because, as Miroku had pointed out, wasn’t the root of all wishes really a selfish thing? “Even the most seemingly selfless wish is based in some bit of selfishness.”

 

“What the fuck does that mean?” InuYasha snarled from where he lounged casually in Kaede’s hut. “There ain’t nothing selfish about it, Miroku.”

 

Miroku shook his head and held up his hand perpendicular to his face. “Purifying the jewel, in and of itself, would alleviate the base need to protect it. That is a selfish desire. Without the jewel, the youkai would stop coming, and we—Kagome especially—would be out of danger.”

 

‘InuYasha didn’t want to admit that Miroku might have been right, but he had stopped demanding that we try to purify it, didn’t he?’

 

Kagome followed InuYasha into the hazy light of the setting sun and shook her head. He hadn’t wanted to let her go home, either. He’d started to throw one of his fits about it; about her running home to her time whenever the going got tough, but it wasn’t like that this time. It wasn’t like that at all. Finally telling him that she was going whether he liked it or not, InuYasha had finally given in, albeit with all the ill grace he could muster. Kagome had been surprised when InuYasha had called out to her, stomping after her as she had swung her legs over the ledge of the well. He hadn’t said a word to her when he reached her, but he had given her the ‘Pathetic Human’ look and had snatched her off the side of the well before hopping into the darkness.

 

She’d eaten dinner with her family. She’d shared in their happy banter, and she’d laughed with them. Careful not to think about the things that she knew could happen later, she concentrated instead on making sure that she memorized everything about them: Mama’s gentle smile, the unruly tendencies of Souta’s hair despite his efforts to keep it neat, Grandpa’s never-ending stories . . .

 

“We’re going to try to purify the jewel tomorrow,” Kagome had said as she washed the dishes after supper. Wincing as she felt her mother’s pause as she cleared things off the table, Kagome had known that Mama understood what she had been trying to say.

 

“I see. It’s been a long time in coming, hasn’t it?”

 

“I suppose. We have to do it. It needs to be done. The jewel’s hurt too many people. It can’t go on like that.”

 

Mrs. Higurashi leaned against the table and folded her arms together over her chest. “And what will happen when you do this?”

 

Kagome shook her head, shrugged in what she hoped was a careless manner. “We don’t know for sure . . . The well . . . it’ll probably close.”

 

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “I understand.” Wandering around the kitchen as she tried to find the words to say, Mrs. Higurashi sighed again, stopping by the framed pictures that lined the walls. All the years of her life were there, displayed for anyone who cared to look. Kagome blinked quickly as the prick of tears stung her eyes, realizing just how abrupt it was. “Kagome . . . That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You . . . You might not come back.”

 

“Mama . . .”

 

Mrs. Higurashi laughed, waving her hand as she hurried over to hug her daughter. “You know, Kagome, I’ve never expected you to do anything less than what your heart tells you, and no matter what you choose, I’ll never be more proud of you than I am right now.”

 

Kagome nodded, brushing a single tear off her cheek as she managed a thin, watery smile. “I love you, Mama.”

 

Mrs. Higurashi smiled as she reached out and stroked Kagome’s hair. “I love you, too, Kagome.”

 

The letters she’d written were hidden away. She wrote them in the middle of the night as InuYasha dozed under the window. Arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga, chin tucked against his chest, she’d seen him sleep like that too often to count, and as she watched him, she knew she didn’t really have a choice, and maybe she never really had. InuYasha needed her as much as she needed him, and whether or not he admitted as much, she knew it in her heart. They were meant to be together.

 

She’d given Mama the letters intended for Souta and Grandpa, and for her friends. She hadn’t mentioned to Yuka, Eri, or Ayumi, just why she had gone away. She figured it would be ambiguous at best. Some things should be left unsaid.

 

Kagome hadn’t slept at all that night. Lying awake in the room that was so familiar to her, she held the jewel in her hands and tried not to be sad for whatever might be. She was the one who woke InuYasha in the morning, and she was the first one done eating as InuYasha watched Mrs. Higurashi stuff as much ramen and pocky into Kagome’s oversized bag as she could. Kagome forced a hug on her nearly teenage brother, Souta had grumbled and complained as he tried to push her away. She’d hugged Grandpa next, and he seemed oddly quiet as he hugged her back.   Mrs. Higurashi had been the last. InuYasha rolled his eyes as Kagome had hugged her mother for a few extra seconds. When they stepped out of the shrine in the bright morning sunshine, he snorted and shrugged and told her to hurry.

 

“You’re so mean,” she complained as she hurried to catch up with the hanyou. “Why do you have to be such a baka?”

 

InuYasha shoved open the doors and ran down the stairs to the well. “I’d rather be a baka with you not crying than not be a baka with you blubbering like a girl.”

 

Kagome paused as she pulled the doors closed. “I am a girl,” she pointed out, though her tone had lost most of her irritation. ‘He doesn’t like it when I’m sad, does he? He . . . he just doesn’t handle it well.’

 

“And it’s stupid, anyway,” InuYasha went on as he picked Kagome up and hopped into the well. “Ain’t no use crying over it. Whatever happens, happens, right?”

 

Kagome sighed and nodded, fingering the stiff envelopes in her pocket. She’d also written letters to Sango and Miroku, to Shippou . . . and to InuYasha. If things didn’t work the way they’d planned, if she was separated from them forever . . . Kagome had given those letters to Kaede, who would give them to the intended recipient if things went awry. “You’re right,” she agreed, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice. “Whatever happens, happens . . .”

 

“You know that you must choose. You know that you were never meant to be able to transcend time,” Midoriko broke in. “It is time, Kagome. You have family and friends in your time . . . but you have the same here, too.”

 

Kagome nodded, lifting her gaze to the star-filled sky. She could have been searching for answers or looking for another choice. In the end, she knew what she wanted, and she knew what her heart had already chosen.

 

“Keh! I hate your time, wench! It’s too crowded, too smelly, too loud, too everything.”

 

How many times had she heard the same thing from him? Ever since the beginning, he’d never hidden his disdain for her era, and considering his need to be outside, she couldn’t really blame him, either.

 

“Keh! Your time stinks, wench.”

 

Yes, to an inu-hanyou, it probably did. Her time was too congested, too crowded, too overwhelming for his senses, and too . . .

 

‘Would he even want to choose my time? Of course not . . . He’d stay here, and I’d be . . . without him . . .’

 

Kagome shook her head. Was there ever really a choice at all? As much as she loved her mother and her brother, her grandfather and her friends, maybe she loved InuYasha just a little bit more.

 

“I . . . I want to stay here,” she murmured. “I need to stay here.”

 

Midoriko frowned, tilting her head to the side as she regarded Kagome calmly. “And you’re sure? That is what you truly desire?”

 

Kagome swallowed hard, blinked back tears that threatened. “Yes, I’m sure.”

 

Staring at her for several moments, as though she were trying to figure something out, Midoriko finally, hesitantly, nodded. “So be it.”

 

“InuYasha!”

 

Kagome’s head snapped toward the sound of Sango’s exclamation, and she gasped. Spinning around as she ran, she skidded to a stop before the hanyou. His body was fading away, and as he caught sight of Kagome, his eyes flared wide. “Oi, wench! What the fuck did you do?”

 

Kagome reached for him but her hands slipped through him. “InuYasha! No!”

 

“Kagome!” he yelled, wildly trying to grab her. Barely more than a vague outline in the darkness, InuYasha’s voice lingered in the air, an echo that whispered in her mind.

 

“What . . .? Why?” she demanded as she stared in shock at the place where InuYasha had stood.

 

“Where did he go?” Shippou asked quietly, his voice a tiny squeak. “Kagome?”

 

“Midoriko!” Kagome shrieked as she whipped around to look for the miko. ‘There’s been a mistake . . . there had to be . . . InuYasha . . .’ she thought as she stumbled back the way she’d come, her eyes filling with furious tears as she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t really true. “Midoriko!”

 

“Kagome, no!” Miroku commanded as he grabbed Kagome by the shoulders to keep her from running away into the night.

 

“Where is he, Miroku?” she whispered, desperation creeping into her tone. “Where is he?”

 

Miroku shook his head and hugged Kagome tighter as Kagome sank to her knees. “I . . . I don’t know.”

 

“He can’t have just disappeared! He can’t have just . . . he can’t!” Kagome railed.

 

Another set of arms wrapped around both her and Miroku as Sango rested her cheek on Kagome’s shoulder. “Maybe he’s not really gone,” Sango rasped out, her voice deep and stunted, and Kagome knew that the youkai exterminator was crying.

 

“InuYasha! InuYasha!” Kagome screamed, wincing at the lonely sound of her voice rising above the trees only to echo back to her as she struggled against her friends’ grips. “InuYasha!”

 

Shippou threw himself onto Kagome’s lap. “Where’d he go, Kagome? Why would he leave us? Where’d he go?”

 

‘Midoriko,’ Kagome thought suddenly. She knew what happened, didn’t she? “Midoriko!”

 

“She’s not here, Kagome,” Miroku told her, his tone overly reasonable and so very, very sad. “She’s gone, too.”

 

“No! She can’t be gone! She has to tell me where InuYasha is! She . . . Midoriko!” she shrieked, tugging against the arms that held her back. She screamed until her throat was raw. Over and over, she called out, hoping that the miko would answer as Sango’s tears ran down Kagome’s arm, as Shippou’s tears dampened the front of her blouse, as Miroku squeezed her tighter and tighter.

 

Kagome’s eyes were strained and burning from her futile attempts to see even the vaguest hint of movement in the night, she slumped weakly against Miroku, her mind numbing to the truth that she didn’t want to believe. Never in her life had Kagome ever felt quite so empty, quite so alone. It made no sense, and as weariness stole over her, Kagome willed herself to cry. She felt the tingle of tears prickling her nose, felt her throat thicken as she blinked rapidly. The tears wouldn’t come.

 

It was no use. It didn’t matter. Midoriko was gone, and InuYasha . . .

 

InuYasha was gone, too.

 

 

<<<Prologue: The Great Debate

002: Changes >>>

~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~

A/N:

Sakimitama: Love.

Kushimitama: Wisdom.

Aramitama: Courage.

Nigimitama: Friendship.

Shikon no Kakera: Shards of the Sacred Jewel of Four Souls.

Shikon no Tama: Sacred Jewel of Four Souls.

Baka: Fool/Idiot.

== == == == == == == == == ==

Final Thought from Kagome:

Where did he go?

==========

Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Desideratum): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~

~~Prologue~~

~The Great Debate~

 

 

‘How the fuck did that happen?‘ InuYasha fumed as he grudgingly watched out of the corner of his half-closed eye as Higurashi Kagome stomped across the meadow toward the lone structure in the field: the Bone Eater’s Well. It was the link between his world of Sengoku Jidai—the Warring States Era—and her world, the place she called ‘modern day Tokyo.’ Virtually, the two places were the same. What separated them was that well . . . and roughly five hundred years.

 

He hadn’t meant to start the fight with her. He’d been secretly pleased when she had come looking for him. Standing at the base of Goshinboku—the God Tree—she wandered around the thick trunk, running her fingers along the bark as she cocked her head to the side and stared up through the branches at him. He pretended not to notice her down there—she really hated when he did that—and started his mental count.

 

‘One . . . two . . . three . . .’ he thought, pausing a moment between each number.

 

He was just hitting the thirties when she sighed very loudly and stepped back from the tree trunk. “I’m going back now, InuYasha,” she called up hesitantly, her voice clear and thin, carefully pleasant though he could sense the underlying turmoil. She was obviously expecting him to argue with her about her plans to return home.

 

“So go, already,” he growled as he lifted his chin and closed his eyes, one foot tucked under him, the other dangling from the branch where he sat. “Just don’t be gone forever. We got work to do, remember?”

 

He heard her sigh, knew that her shoulders had just drooped as he winced inwardly and stifled a sigh of his own. “I don’t suppose you want to come with me?” she ventured in an even more pleasant tone.

 

“Keh!” he scoffed, lifting his chin another notch. “And why the hell would I do a fucking stupid thing like that?”

 

In his mind, he could see her expression twist into one of the disgusted affectations that he loved—yet another reason he goaded her temper as frequently as he did. “Because you like to be around me,” she stated tightly, her patience wearing thinner and thinner like a wire ready to snap.

 

“About as much as I like having fleas,” he countered.

 

Kagome made a small growling sound. After a moment, she tried another tactic, her sweet tone back in place once more. “Do you want me to bring you anything? Ramen? Potato chips? Milk Bones?”

 

That earned her a long-suffering glance. “Keh. I’ll pass,” he grumbled haughtily, referring to the dog treats instead of the first two options.

 

“Suit yourself, then, grumpy . . . I’ll just bring back pocky for Shippou and stuff for the others,” she agreed lightly as she whipped around to leave.

 

“Ramen!” he hollered after her.

 

Kagome stopped and wandered back with a happy grin on her face. The grin took on a bit of a wicked edge, and she clasped her hands in front of her. “If you want ramen, you have to come with me,” she said.

 

InuYasha made a face as he snorted again. “Keh! I hate your time, wench,” he reminded her. “It’s too crowded, too smelly, too loud, too everything.”

 

“It isn’t that bad,” she argued, her tone taking on the instant defensive undertones he knew well enough. “There are things to be said for progress, you know.”

 

“Yeah,” he agreed with yet another derisive snort, “it’s stupid!”

 

“It’s not stupid!” she shot back. “At least we have indoor plumbing!”

 

“Overrated.”

 

“And electricity.”

 

“Big deal.”

 

“No running around, fighting youkai.”

 

“Keh! Boring.”

 

“Ramen!”

 

“One good thing, wench! The rest of it can go straight to hell.”

 

Kagome sighed again. “Fine, fine,” she muttered. “At least boys are taught manners in my time.”

 

“You mean like that one from your school? That ain’t manners! That’s just pathetic.”

 

“Right,” Kagome said mildly as she shrugged off her backpack and rummaged through it. “Admit it: you’re just scared of being in my time because you don’t understand it.”

 

“Scared? Like hell!” he snarled, quickly forgetting that he’d instigated this little discussion. “I ain’t scared of anything, Kagome!”

 

She dug a tiny white tube out of the bag and yanked the lid free with a small popping noise. He made a face at the vague yet still unnatural smell of the greasy-waxy gunk she liked to smear on her lips. She called it ‘chap stick’. He called it revolting.

 

“That’s disgusting, wench,” he pointed out as his face contorted in absolute disdain.

 

Kagome rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding,” she remarked dryly. “You get youkai guts all over you just about every day, and you’re calling me disgusting?”

 

“That ain’t by choice,” he retorted in a tone that stated quite plainly that he thought she ought to know as much.

 

She shook her head slowly before pinning InuYasha with a calculating stare. Breaking into a cunning grin, the miko blinked a few times as she stared up through the branches. “Why don’t you come down here, InuYasha?” she coaxed in a tone that he really didn’t trust at all.

 

“I think I’ll stay up here, thanks,” he grumbled sarcastically. “Anyway, I thought you said you had to go.”

 

“I will,” she agreed as she stuffed the tiny tube of nasty-wax back into her gargantuan backpack. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? I’ll only be gone a day or so . . . .”

 

“Go, already, will you? All your yappin’s giving me a headache.”

 

“I see,” she shot back stiffly. “Maybe I’ll stay a week or two . . . I do need to catch up on my classes, anyway.”

 

InuYasha ears twitched. He knew she was deliberately goading him. He knew she expected him to yell and bluster and demand that she sure as hell better not think she was staying in her time that long. He knew that she wanted him to go with her with the ruse that he wanted to make sure she wasn’t gone forever. Common sense told him not to take the bait. Common sense be damned. “The hell you will!” he bellowed. “Damn it, wench, if you make me come after you, I’ll—”

 

Her laughter cut him off, filling the air like the sounds of tiny ringing bells. “You’ll what, InuYasha? There isn’t much you can do, if I don’t come back right away. After all, you’d have to come through the well to my time to get me, and you ha-a-a-ate my time, remember? You’re all bark and no bite, you know.”

 

Face shifting into his signature pout, the hanyou snorted indelicately and shoved his arms together under the sleeves of his haori. “Keh! All right, Kagome, just stay gone a day too long, and see what happens.”

 

Kagome sighed. “My time isn’t nearly as bad as you think,” she told him. “You just won’t give it a chance.”

 

“Do you remember the last time you said something wasn’t as bad as I thought?” he shot back.

 

“You’re just never going to let go of that, are you?” she asked with a marked narrowing of the eyes.

 

“Keh. No.”

 

“I told you I was sorry for that,” she grumbled, knowing that he loved to bring up ‘The Curry Incident’ to prove his point. “I forgot.”

 

InuYasha snorted. ‘Forgot, huh? After the time her mother nearly torched my tongue, she forgot that I can’t stand spices like that? Ri-i-ight . . . .’

 

“I stay here in your time more than I’m home, you know,” she pointed out reasonably.

 

“That’s because we had to find the Shikon no Kakera. You remember, the shards of the Sacred Jewel? The one you broke?”

 

Kagome glared up at him as her cheeks reddened at his blatant reminder. “I know I broke it, InuYasha. You don’t really have to remind me.”

 

“That’s debatable,” he growled.

 

“Fine,” she retorted. “Give me one good reason you won’t come with me.”

 

“Got stuff to do.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Stuff.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“What’s that mean? You think I’m lying?”

 

She apparently didn’t figure that his challenge deserved an answer because she ignored it. “I don’t know why I even bother,” she fumed instead. “Stay here, then! I’ll just go back to my time—alone—even though I have spent more time here in your era than you ever have in mine.”

 

“That’s because my time ain’t stupid!”

 

“Neither is mine!” she argued.

 

“Is, too.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“It is!”

 

“Is not!”

 

“Just ’cause you say it don’t make it true.”

 

“You know I’m right.”

 

“In your dreams.”

 

“Seriously!”

 

“Keh!”

 

“You’re just being stubborn.”

 

InuYasha snorted. Loudly. “Ain’t nothin’ stubborn about it. You’re just being stupid.”

 

He could feel the spike in her aura as her irritation shot higher. He ignored the obvious warning in it, though. “Watch who you’re calling ‘stupid’, dog-boy.”

 

“Watch who you’re calling ‘boy’, wench.”

 

“All right fine, baka. That fits better, anyway.”

 

“Bi—.”

 

“Don’t even finish that, InuYasha . . .”

 

“—itch.”

 

“Osuwari.”

 

“Ungh!” InuYasha grunted as his body crashed through the branches of Goshinboku, dragged down by a flash of light that erupted from the kotodama rosary around his neck, only to slam into the earth at the young miko’s feet.

 

Kagome planted her hands on her hips and shook her head slowly as she tapped the toe of her scuffed leather loafer while InuYasha peeled himself out of the slight indentation he’d created as he glowered at the girl’s pretty face. “Why do you always have to pick fights with me?” she complained.

 

InuYasha snorted as he spat out some dried leaves and sat up. “Keh! Me? You started it! I didn’t!”

 

“I did not!” she countered as she glared back at the half-human, half-dog-youkai as he shot to his feet and ‘keh’ed’ again for good measure.   Kagome reached out to snag a leaf out of his hair. InuYasha bared his fangs at her. She narrowed her deep brown eyes in silent threat. “Did you just snarl at me?” she asked quietly, disbelief brightening her eyes with a glint that he couldn’t ignore.

 

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! So what if I did?” he demanded, mustering as much bravado as he could.

 

Kagome’s eyebrows shot up as her eyes narrowed even more. The result was even more intimidating when coupled with the way her back suddenly straightened, the way her entire body stiffened as her miko’s aura pulled in closer. “Good bye, InuYasha,” she said as she spun around on her heel and started to stomp away.

 

InuYasha’s ears flattened at her entirely too-pleasant tone that was completely at odds with her very apparent pique. He tried to ignore the desire to dart after her. As much as he hated to admit it—and never to the girl in question—he hated when Kagome was truly angry at him, especially when he actually had started the fight.

 

‘Keh! Who cares if she goes back to her era?‘ he fumed, trying not to wince as a sudden emptiness settled over him; the same emptiness that Kagome always left when she passed through the time slip. ‘I don’t need her, anyway, not really. She just gets in the way, and then I have to save her. Trouble—save—trouble—save . . . It’s a vicious cycle. Pathetic human.’

 

Still, as hard as he tried to convince himself that he meant what he said, a part of him couldn’t help but miss her, too, and the more he tried to ignore the sudden feeling of melancholy, the more acutely he felt the emptiness. Leaping back into the protective shelter of Goshinboku, the hanyou flopped against the tree trunk as he jammed his arms together under the generous cover of his haori sleeves with a loud snort and a telling drooping of the ears.

 

‘See if I go after her! I won’t, not this time! Not till she admits that her time ain’t so great . . .’

 

 

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:

 

 

‘InuYasha no baka,’ Kagome thought with a scowl as she fell through the gentle light and space of the time slip. ‘I’m not going back till he comes to get me, and then he can apologize for always putting down my era.’

 

Feet touching down on the solid ground as the darkness above closed in on her, she sighed. “Right, Kagome. He’ll apologize about the time that pigs start flying. Irritating, stubborn dog-boy! Why does he always have to argue with me? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he likes it or something . . .”

 

Her voice echoed off the cold stone walls surrounding her, and Kagome wrinkled her nose. With a heavy sigh as she swung her backpack over her shoulder, she reached for the ladder and started the long climb out of the well.

 

She should be used to InuYasha’s constant picking. She’d put up with it for nearly a year, since the day she first fell through the Bone Eater’s Well on her fifteenth birthday. InuYasha tended to be brash and surly, disagreeable and grouchy, but he also had his moments. Kagome winced as she braced her hands on the ledge and hoisted herself out of the darkness.

 

‘Okay, he does have his moments. I just wish he’d choose to have them more often.’

 

Jogging up the stairs and sliding open the well-house doors, Kagome squinted as she stepped outside into the bright sunshine. Everything looked exactly the same as it had two weeks ago—the last time she’d come home. The shrine grounds were neat and tidy, as always. The flowers bloomed in the bed around Goshinboku as the ancient tree’s branches swayed in the gentle afternoon breeze. It simply wasn’t a day that lent itself to gloomy thoughts or feelings of anger. Too bad that’s exactly where her thoughts were. With a sigh, Kagome brushed off her bleak thoughts and pulled the doors closed before skipping down the steps and striding toward the shrine.

 

‘Pocky, of course, for Shippou . . . Sango didn’t really ask for anything, but I know she loves the body wash. I’ll get her another bottle of that. Miroku . . . I should get him some ointment. He’s been slapped more often this week than he has in a long, long time.’

 

“Because he’s a fucking pervert,” InuYasha’s assessment echoed in her head.

 

Kagome frowned. ‘No, there’s more to it than that . . . something’s bothering Miroku. He hasn’t been this bad since Sango joined the group . . .’

 

Just last night, she’d seen the monk staring at the horizon with such a pensive, foreboding expression. She asked him if something was wrong, and for once, Miroku hadn’t tried to hide his obvious concern. “It’s getting worse,” he admitted quietly, violet eyes scanning the horizon as he refused to meet Kagome’s gaze.

 

She didn’t ask him what he was talking about. She didn’t have to. The way he clutched his right hand—the soft click of the prayer beads that sealed the kazaana closed . . . There was nothing Kagome could do. Grasping his shoulder just to let him know he really wasn’t alone felt like such an empty gesture, but it was all she had to offer him. “We’ll get Naraku. We’ll find him.”

 

“Of course we will,” he agreed, an edge to his voice, as though he didn’t really believe her; as though he were simply humoring her.

 

Suddenly it all made sense. Miroku’s behavior wasn’t some resurgence of lechery. Maybe . . .

 

‘Maybe he knows . . . If the kazaana is spreading, then . . .’

 

Deliberately cutting off her train of thought, Kagome quickened her step as she neared the back doors of the shrine house. ‘I can’t stay. Miroku . . . He might not have that long . . .’

 

 

 

001: Debacle >>>

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A/N:

de·sid·er·a·tum: Something considered necessary or highly desirable …

From desidero –are: to long for what is absent or lost , to wish for; to miss, find a lack of.

Osuwari: archaic way to say ‘sit’ but most often used as a sit command for dogs these days. (I never use the words, “Sit, boy.” Kagome doesn’t say that to subjugate InuYasha. She literally uses a dog command. Call it a bad translation.)

Baka: idiot; fool.

Shikon no Tama: Sacred Jewel of Four Souls.

Shikon no Kakera: Shards of the Sacred Jewel of Four Souls.

Goshinboku: The God Tree.

Hanyou: half-magical creature (youkai); half-human.

Haori: InuYasha’s fire rat shirt.

== == == == == == == == == ==

Final Thought from Kagome:

Why does InuYasha have to be so infuriating?

==========

Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Desideratum): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

~Sue~

~~Chapter Two Hundred Twenty-One~~

~Haste to the Wedding~

–OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO–

‘It’s the wild life that’s in your veins …

‘You’ll feel like an animal that’s been uncaged …’

-‘The Wild Life’ by Slaughter.

–Valerie–

 

 

“You know, I’m trying to figure it out.”

 

Valerie blinked and leaned forward in the salon chair to peer down the line at her soon-to-be sister-in-law, Bellaniece.   “What do you mean?”

 

Bellaniece giggled, flicking up her claws as she examined the nail polish that had just been so carefully applied. “You’re actually allowing Evan to have a real bachelor party? I can’t decide if you have that much faith in him or if you’re just trying to give him enough rope to hang himself.”

 

“I have serious doubts that he needs that much rope, to start with,” Sierra Inutaisho remarked almost baldly despite the smile on her pretty face.

 

Unable to repress the slightly gloating smile that surfaced on her face, Valerie tried for an innocent expression though she had a feeling that no one was buying it. “Oh, I think he’ll behave himself,” she allowed somewhat dryly.

 

“Bassie’s the one who planned the party, so I wouldn’t think it’d get too out of hand,” Jillian commented, lifting a steamed towel off her face to peer out from under it. Then she giggled. “Well, maybe . . .”

 

Valerie didn’t comment right away, but she was hard pressed to keep her knowing grin from spreading. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Madison’s questioning gaze, and she purposefully ignored it as she accepted a glass of champagne from one of the technicians passing through.

 

“You know something, don’t you?” Madison asked in a hushed whisper.

 

“. . . Maybe,” Valerie admitted. “Let’s just say I have little doubt that Evan will have a very memorable night.”

 

Madison giggled but let it go for the moment.

 

“And this is just heaven,” Valerie went on, closing her eyes as she sank down a little lower in her seat. When Madison had suggested a spa-day for all the ladies, Valerie had jumped at the idea, and, though Madison had insisted that it would all be on the house, Valerie still stubbornly insisted upon paying her for it, instead.

 

At the moment, however, Madison was busying herself by giving Valerie’s mother the royal treatment, as it were. Hair trimmed, color refreshed, a full vitamin body wrap along with a chem-peel for her face, and it was absolutely amazing, how young she looked now. “Shouldn’t you be pampering yourself?” Rhonda asked, leaning back to raise her eyebrows at Madison.

 

Madison laughed and waved a dismissive hand. “I pamper myself all the time, and I love doing this!” she insisted. “And you are one hot mama!”

 

Giggling softly, Rhonda blushed. “It’s the makeup,” she demurred.

 

Valerie rolled her eyes. “Give it up, Mama,” she scoffed. “Of course, you’re gorgeous!”

 

“You’d better call and make sure Daddy’s taken his medicine before he sees you,” Kaci Lea warned with a girlish little giggle. She’d already had her cut and color retouched, not that she’d really needed it, of course.

 

Rhonda laughed but couldn’t hide her blush at the compliments, either.

 

“So are you nervous, Valerie?” Samantha Drevin asked, leaning forward to peer down the line at the soon-to-be bride.

 

Drawing a deep breath, Valerie shook her head. “Not yet,” she admitted. “At this time tomorrow? Probably.”

 

“Well, I, for one, can’t wait until you’ve married my Evan,” Gin added happily. Suddenly, she sniffled and quickly dashed a hand over her eyes. “My baby’s getting married . . .”

 

“Aw, don’t worry, Mama,” Jillian piped up with a bright smile. “You’ll have another baby soon, so not all your babies will be married, after all!”

 

Gin giggled, and for just a moment, a strange sort of expression seemed to flicker across her features, almost as though she wanted to say something, but she must have changed her mind because she smiled instead and shifted around in her seat a little.

 

“Gin? Are you all right?” Kagome asked, her brows drawing together as she carefully eyed her daughter.

 

Gin blinked and nodded quickly, her bright smile back in place once more. “Fine, Mama.”

 

Kagome didn’t look like she wasn’t buying Gin’s insistence. “Maybe we should go back home and let you lie down a bit.”

 

“No, I promise, everything’s fine,” Gin insisted, waving off her mother’s concern with a flick of her wrist. “Besides, I took an early nap at Cain’s insistence, so I’m good.”

 

Kagome didn’t look entirely convinced, but she slowly settled back in her chair once more.

 

“So where is Evan taking you on your honeymoon?” Evan’s aunt, Deirdre, better known as ‘Nezumi’, asked.

 

Heaving a sigh, Valerie rolled her eyes. “You know, he refuses to tell me?” she complained since she was getting a first-hand lesson as to just how stubborn Evan could actually be. She’d thought that she could get anything out of him—or she had until she’d discovered that he really had no intention at all in telling her just where they were planning on going after the wedding.

 

“I don’t think he’s told anyone,” Sydnie remarked, tapping a delicately manicured claw against her lips thoughtfully. “I know he didn’t tell my puppy anything . . .” Trailing off for a moment, the cat-youkai’s gaze shifted to Gin. “Did he tell you anything?”

 

Gin blinked and slowly shook her head. “He won’t tell me, either,” she confessed. “He just wants it to be a big surprise. I’m sure that it’ll be wonderful, no matter where you two go.”

 

“Knowing Evan, it won’t matter, anyway,” Madison added. “I highly doubt that he intends to step foot outside your hotel room.”

 

Valerie laughed since she had to agree with Madison. Knowing Evan, it probably would take some cajoling on her part if she hoped to see anything outside of the hotel, after all . . . Though, she had to admit, at least to herself, she didn’t think she’d have very many complaints, one way or another.

 

“But you’re going to be going on a good, long honeymoon, right? Or does he have too many other things lined up?” Kagura asked.

 

“Actually, no, he doesn’t. I’m not sure how long he wants to stay gone, but he did mention that it would be ‘a while’ . . .” Valerie glanced over at the woman who was currently leafing through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. When they’d been introduced earlier, it had surprised Valerie that she had actually been a little in awe of that particular woman. Maybe it had something to do with her husband; Valerie wasn’t sure, but there was a certain presence about the both of them, almost a feeling of understated royalty—or at least, what Valerie imagined that meeting royalty in real life might feel like. But Kagura had smiled, and Sesshoumaru had assured her that he was pleased to see that Evan had finally found someone to spend his life with, and that had been enough to put Valerie completely at ease.

 

It was no small thing, really. To be honest, Evan’s entire family possessed that sort of aura, and if she hadn’t known already that there was something different about them, it would have been easy to guess. After all, it just wasn’t normal to see that many absolutely stunning people, was it? And not one of them looked to be the ages that she now knew they were.

 

Evan and the rest of his family had refrained from giving actual relationship statuses to the introductions when it came to meeting Valerie’s family, though. She had to wonder if the only reason they’d actually gotten away with it was simply because of the commotion that was surrounding these last couple days before the wedding, and it helped, she was sure, that the mansion was so full, so busy, that it was fairly simple to sidetrack conversations that might have led to the harder to answer questions, anyway. It wasn’t that Valerie didn’t want to tell her family about Evan’s, but . . .

 

But Samantha had no qualms in explaining things to Valerie—things that Evan had only brushed upon. It was Sami who had told Valerie the horrifying story of her initial meeting with her husband, Kurt. She’d told Valerie in such a matter-of-fact way about the atrocities that had been visited upon her when she’d spent time in a research facility, being tested because the human researchers had known that she was ‘different’. She’d told all of it to Valerie because she’d wanted her to understand why there was a slight rift still between her husband and her father, who still blamed Kurt for his involvement on some level, even if he was the one who had ultimately set her free, too. Samantha had felt bad because the tension had been noticeable enough, even if everyone else had tried that much harder to be cheerful and happy, as though they believed that they could compensate for it. It wasn’t that Kichiro had been openly hostile or anything, no, but maybe it was the overall happiness that seemed to engulf the entire estate that drew more attention to the strain. For his part, Kurt had been friendly, even if he was a little on the reserved side, and it hadn’t taken long for his dry sense of humor to show itself, either, and that was something that Valerie could appreciate. The rest of the family including Bellaniece were warm enough toward Kurt, though Valerie would be lying if she tried to say that she hadn’t noticed the slightly more reserved way that Bellaniece behaved around Kurt, either. It wasn’t unfriendly, it simply wasn’t as open as she normally was, either.

 

Samantha had also admitted, too, that Kurt had said that it might be better if he quietly ducked out of the celebration. After all, he couldn’t blame Samantha’s father for his feelings, either. Evan, however, wouldn’t hear of that, and, given that he’d already asked Kurt to be one of his groomsmen, then having to rearrange things would have just been harder than it already was.

 

After that talk, though, Valerie had understood, and even when Evan had asked her if she wanted to tell her family about him, she’d assured him that it wasn’t entirely necessary. Sure, she was certain that her family would be all right with the information in the end, but she couldn’t help feeling as though it wasn’t really her place to tell them, either. As much as she hated to think in terms of death or any of that, she knew her father’s life wasn’t something that could be measured in decades to come, and her mother?   Rhonda might well be in much better health, but the fact remained that parents were just not supposed to outlive their children. No, the only real question was whether or not to tell Garret or Kaci Lea, and there would be time to decide that later, too, though Evan had said something that he’d meant as a joke, but it still remained in Valerie’s mind.

 

“Well, we could always try fixing them up with youkai. I mean, they might be human, but if they had youkai mates, then they’d stick around, too, wouldn’t they?” he said as they were getting ready for bed last night.

 

“You make that sound a lot easier than I imagine it really is,” Valerie replied.

 

Evan shrugged then grinned at her. “Never say never, baby.”

 

But that wasn’t really the issue at the moment, even if she did wonder in the back of her head about the feasibility of the offhanded comments that Evan had made. The initial bout of nerves she’d suffered before all the guests started to arrive had proven to be groundless. It both pleased as well as humbled her to see just how sweet, how accepting Evan’s entire family—direct and extended—were toward hers. The women had all been more than happy to befriend Valerie’s mother and sister, and Valerie had seen most of the men taking the time to meet and talk to both her father and brother, as well. After meeting the family as a whole, she figured she shouldn’t be at all surprised at how Evan had turned out . . .

 

Valerie’s cell phone buzzed on the small stand beside her, and she smiled when she saw who was calling. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your bachelor party, Roka?” she asked mildly.

 

Evan chuckled. “Sure, but I figured I had time to check in with you before that. Having a good time?”

 

“The best time,” she replied. “Forget the rest of the party, I think I’d rather just move in here.”

 

“Oh? So what are they doing to you?”

 

“Right now, I’m soaking my feet in this tub of goo that feels fantastic.”

 

Evan’s chuckle turned downright nasty. “I’ll make some ‘goo’ for you, baby,” he offered.

 

Rolling her eyes despite the laugh that escaped her, Valerie shook her head. “Go to your bachelor party,” she told him, “and leave us alone, okay?”

 

He heaved a melodramatic sigh. “All right; all right,” he agreed. “You ladies have fun. I miss you.”

 

She smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.” Ending the call, Valerie laughed again. She hadn’t really thought that he could be any goofier, and yet, there was something definitely lighter about his mood, if that were really possible. In the last few days since he’d finally had it out with Cain, he had been so much happier, more at peace with himself. Come to think of it, Cain seemed to be that way, too . . .

 

They’d gone out to celebrate Evan receiving his doctorate. They’d brought along Valerie’s family, as well, making it a family outing of sorts. It was too bad that Gavin and Jillian hadn’t been there, but they weren’t able to fly in until late last night. Bas had looked rather shocked at first, but he’d also said later that it wasn’t really surprising. Evan had always been smart like that. Gin couldn’t help but to get a little teary over it all—Valerie supposed that her emotions were pretty touchy, but they were happy tears, and that was all right, too.

 

It was hard to believe that the wedding was so close—the wedding that, at times, she hadn’t thought would be possible. All the plans were finalized, everything was ready for the big day. Now if Valerie could just remember to stop worrying about those details and to let herself enjoy the next couple days, she’d be home free . . .

 

 

–Evan–

 

 

“I can’t believe you brought me to a strip club!” Evan exclaimed as he slipped into a chair beside Bas, who was leaning heavily on the table, toying with a cold bottle of beer. “You rock, Bubby! I take back every shitty thing I ever said or thought about you!”

 

Bas rolled his eyes but chuckled. “Yeah, well, since it’s your bachelor party, I figured that you’d want to have it at the tackiest, seediest, nastiest place I could find.”

 

Evan laughed but didn’t disagree. “Did you check it out before tonight?”

 

Bas snorted. “Nope.” Then he grinned. “I had the groomsmen do it.”

 

He choked on a sip of beer since his groomsmen were Gavin and Kurt, the most unlikely pair, ever, and the idea of those two coming in here for any reason? Well, that really was damn funny, all things considered. “Bet that went over well,” Evan couldn’t resist adding.

 

Bas actually chuckled. “Their mates found it amusing enough,” he had to allow. “The girls said it was much worse than the other ones on the list, so I guess you could say that they’re the ones who had approved it.”

 

Evan’s grin widened. “Sami and Jilli? Those two scoped the places out?”

 

Bas offered a noncommittal shrug. “According to Gavin, the girls insisted on coming along. Apparently, they didn’t think Gav or Kurt would actually go in if they didn’t.” Slumping back in his chair with a thoughtful scowl, Bas shrugged. “They were probably right.”

 

Evan had to laugh since those two were currently sitting at a table as far back as possible with Sesshoumaru Inutaisho and Griffin Marin—all four of whom looked as though they’d rather be just about anywhere on earth than right where they were.

 

Grimacing when the music cranked a notch or two louder, announcing with the dimming of the house lights, the raising of the strobing spotlights above the stage that the real show was about to begin, Bas slowly shook his head and heaved an audible sigh.

 

“Kurt and Gavin said that you’re to blame for all of this,” Toga Inutaisho remarked, stopping beside the table to give Bas a very pointed look.

 

“If it were up to me, I’d have just had a football party or something,” Bas allowed, a slight grin surfacing on his features. “But it’s for him, so . . .”

 

Letting out a deep breath, Toga shook his head but chuckled. “Somehow, I feel that this has ‘disaster’ written all over it,” he added.

 

Evan grinned. “Aw, c’mon, Toga! You can’t really say that you wouldn’t enjoy watching Sierra if she wanted to put on a striptease for you.”

 

Toga’s answer to that was a terse grunt, and even in the dusky light of the club, Evan could make out the trace of red that had filtered into Toga’s cheeks.

 

“You’re bent,” Bas muttered as he tipped his beer to his lips.

 

“I have to say, I honestly didn’t think you had it in you to find a place this . . . interesting,” Kichiro remarked, slinging an arm around Toga’s shoulders.

 

“Interesting is a good way to put it . . . I suppose,” Toga grumbled, trying to duck away from Kichiro, who only tightened his grip on his cousin. “I feel like we’re all going to have to be fumigated before Gin allows any of us back into the mansion.”

 

“Well, Sydnie did say something like that, too, when I told her where we were going,” Bas admitted thoughtfully.

 

“Which reminds me: did you actually tell her what you were doing tonight?” Evan asked, raising a speculative eyebrow at his brother.

 

Bas snorted. “Yes, I did.”

 

“So how did you manage to make it out of the house?” Evan couldn’t resist asking since everyone knew about Sydnie’s legendary jealous streak when it came to Bas.

 

To his surprise, Bas broke into a somewhat smug kind of grin. “She was all right with it after I told her what was planned.”

 

Frowning at Bas’ almost cryptic wording, Evan turned his attention back to the stage, only to pull a classic double take moments before pinning Bas with a droll kind of expression that was completely ruined by the bark of laughter that quickly followed. “Oh, my God!” he exclaimed, smacking his hand down on the table in his complete amusement. “That is wrong beyond wrong!”

 

Bas grinned, too, but narrowed his eyes as he tried not to watch the spectacle unfolding on the stage where three transvestites were very happily doing their thing to the ungodly loud beat of the music. “You wanted strippers. You didn’t really say what kind of strippers . . .”

 

“Kami, I’ve been in some nasty-assed places before, but this . . .” Ryomaru Izayoi grumbled as he stomped over to his twin and cousin. “Are those . . .? Balls!” he exclaimed, the look on his face registering his abject disgust over what, exactly he was witnessing. “What the fuck . . .?”

 

Staring in complete and morbid fascination, Evan couldn’t help the idiotic grin that only widened. The tops had come off and there was jiggling a-plenty despite knowing that those three were most certainly male—even if the upper sections of their bodies didn’t resemble their male counterparts in the least. “I can’t believe you hired ladyboys!” he said, holding his hand up to summon a waitress. “Bring my brother another beer!” he insisted, waving a hand in Bas’ general direction. “Holy hell, Bubby! This is awesome!”

 

Bas rolled his eyes as a soft chuckle escaped him. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen Dad’s face,” he ventured as the waitress hurried away to fill Evan’s order.

 

Dragging his gaze off of the strippers, Evan glanced over at Cain who did, indeed, have the weirdest expression on his face: a very odd mix of amusement and complete horror, like he was busy watching a train wreck full of circus clowns or something . . .

 

The overall effect was enough to send Evan into another bout of laughter, and Bas grimaced when the groom stuck his fingers into his mouth to unleash a loud, shrill whistle.

 

“Congratulations, Evan,” Morio Izayoi remarked, clapping Evan on the shoulder. “Can’t say your choice of bachelor party entertainment is my thing, but it’s nice to see that the bride to be . . . trusts you.”

 

Rising out of his chair to give his cousin a quick hug, Evan couldn’t help the cheesy grin on his face, either. “Morio! How was your flight?”

 

Morio chuckled. “It wasn’t so bad.”

 

“Speak for yourself,” Mikio Izayoi said, nudging Morio out of the way with a wince. Paler than normal, almost peaked, the hanyou looked like he’d seen better days, and considering his balance problems tended to be exacerbated by flying, Evan figured that he probably didn’t feel any better than he looked at the moment.

 

“Yeah, but you always hate planes,” Morio replied. “Besides, how could you possibly say it was bad when you got phone numbers from two of the stewardesses?”

 

Mikio made a face as his cheeks reddened—about the only trace of healthy color in his features. “I didn’t ask for them; you did—and they’re probably fake, anyway,” he muttered.

 

Morio chuckled. “Are you kidding? Women love you! They think you’re so darned cute!”

 

Rolling his eyes at the added emphasis on the word ‘cute’, Mikio wrinkled his nose and opted to ignore Morio’s commentary instead. “I can’t stay,” he went on, turning to Evan once more, “I just wanted to stop in on the way out to the mansion.”

 

Evan nodded but then offered a nonchalant shrug. “Might want to rethink that,” he warned.

 

Mikio blinked, absently reaching up and fiddling with his twitching left ear. At this point, Evan had to wonder if it wasn’t more of a habit than anything else since he’d done it as long as Evan could remember. “What do you mean?”

 

Evan’s grin widened. “The women are supposed to be having V’s bachelorette party out there tonight—after they finished at the spa, anyway—so unless you want to be molested by all those women, you might wanna stay here.”

 

Mikio made a face. “The fact that I’m related to most of the women who would be at that party makes it all the more disturbing, don’t you think?”

 

Evan chuckled. “There’s that, too,” he allowed with an offhanded shrug. “Oh!” he suddenly exclaimed, digging into his pocket and pulling out his wallet to hand over the keycard for the front door of his house. He never used it since the identilock only required his thumb print, but he carried around the card just in case. “Go on over to my place, if you want. There’s food in the fridge, booze in the bar, and you’re welcome to use the guest room. It’ll be nice and quiet, too, so feel free to make yourself at home.”

 

“Oh, uh, okay,” Mikio agreed. “It’s not a problem, is it?”

 

“Nah, it’s all good,” Evan insisted.

 

Mikio didn’t look entirely convinced, but he finally nodded, taking Evan’s card with a rather wan smile. “Thanks. It’s just for tonight,” he explained quickly. “I’ll go over to the mansion in the morning.”

 

“Stay as long as you want,” Evan replied. “Besides, V was impressed when I told her that you’re an attorney, too.”

 

Mikio nodded, and Morio grinned. “I’ll take him over there. Don’t do anything fun without me!” Then he stopped to consider what he’d said and he shrugged. “Then again . . .”

 

Evan laughed and sat back down as Morio and Mikio headed for the exit, pausing here and there to greet their relatives in passing.

 

The stage music ended, and the strippers ran off the stage moments before the overhead lights brightened as the slightly lower in volume house music came up. Bas got to his feet and stepped around the table to grasp Evan’s shoulder as he turned him to face the rest of the guests. “On behalf of my brother, I wanted to thank you all for taking the time to celebrate Evan’s impending wedding,” Bas said, raising his voice to be heard over the low din. “Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t entirely sure that Evan would ever find a woman who was willing to put up with him, but I don’t mind admitting that I was wrong. Valerie’s a wonderful woman. In fact, she’s so wonderful that she even sent over a cake for you, Evan . . .”

 

Evan turned and glanced around, breaking into another goofy grin as a huge four layer cake was wheeled out of the back by the trio of strippers who hadn’t bothered to retrieve any of their discarded clothing. The tiers were lined with burning sparklers, and when they reached Evan, the ‘girls’ hurried over to make a show of kissing Evan’s cheeks in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible.

 

Bas reached over and handed Evan a blunt-edge cake knife.

 

“I am not entirely sure I want any of that,” Kurt remarked dryly as he stepped up beside the would-be groom.

 

Gavin flushed deep crimson when one of the strippers shot him a slow wink. “Makes me glad I didn’t have one of these parties,” he muttered.

 

“Cut the cake, Evan,” Gunnar remarked from his spot at the table beside Sesshoumaru who didn’t look uncomfortable, exactly, though he certainly didn’t look impressed.

 

Evan stepped over to the cake, narrowing his eyes as he considered exactly how he should cut into it. Before he could lower the knife, however, he jerked back as the top of the cake seemed to explode. “Ta-da-a-a!” Bugs exclaimed, throwing his hands high in the air as he burst out of the cake. Decked out in a fluffy little bunny costume, the rabbit youkai wiggled his fingers at the rockstar.

 

Evan laughed as he helped Bugs out of the cake. The rabbit leaned over and planted a loud kiss on Evan’s cheek before relinquishing his hold on him. “Surprise, Zel! You didn’t really think I’d miss a chance to be your bunny, now did you?”

 

“I thought you said you were boycotting the wedding!” Evan exclaimed, slipping an arm around Bugs.

 

“I was going to,” he allowed with an exaggerated pout. “But getting a chance to see all these fine men? Well, how could I possibly pass that up?” He spotted Gunnar and gave a jaunty wave. To Evan’s amusement, Gunnar actually nodded in acknowledgement of the greeting. Bugs heaved a very melodramatic sigh. “That one is just absolutely scrumptious, isn’t he? Melt-in-your-mouth good . . .”

 

“Looks like ol’ Gunnar’s in a pretty good mood,” Evan remarked. “Maybe you should go over there and say hi.”

 

Bugs giggled, waving a hand at Evan. “He’d never give me the time of day, Zel, and you know it’s true . . .” Trailing off as he seemed to be considering his options, Bug’s broke into a grin. “Then again, it doesn’t hurt to be friendly, now does it?”

 

“He’s not going to hit on Gunnar, is he?” Bas muttered as they watched the overzealous rabbit bound away.

 

Evan cleared his throat. “Oh, he might . . .”

 

Bas broke into the barest hint of a smile. “Is it bad that I kind of hope it does . . .?”

 

Evan chuckled. “Nope,” he allowed with a shrug. “I kind of hope he does myself . . . So V ordered the cake, did she?”

 

Offering a little shrug, Bas nodded. “She figured someone as bent as you are would enjoy it, yes.”

 

Digesting that in silence for a moment, Evan chuckled. “And here I was nice enough to hire a real stripper to show up at the mansion . . .”

 

Bas blinked and stared at Evan for several long moments. “You didn’t.”

 

His grin widened. “Oh, yep, I think I did . . . Calls himself John Long Dong. He’s not nearly as impressive as you are, though, but the odds of getting you to strip didn’t seem very good. Anyway, I figured the girls would get a kick out of him.”

 

“John Long—?” Cutting himself off abruptly, Bas slowly shook his head. “Only you, Evan,” he muttered, but he didn’t seem nearly as irritated as Evan suspected he’d be. Either way, he’d thought that it’d be good for a laugh. He only wished that he could see their faces when they answered the door and found Mr. Dong standing there, waiting to join the festivities . . .

 

 

 <<< 220: Reconciliation

222: Reticence >>>

 

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A/N:

‘The Wild Life’by Slaughter originally appeared on the 1992 release, The Wild Life. Copyrighted to Mark Slaughter and Dana Strum.

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Final Thought from Bas:

John Long Dong …?

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Subterfuge): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

~Sue~