Thursday, September 24, 2015

Argh Argh Argh!

Just wanted to give a short status update. I’m still here, but have a few things going on that are kind of slowing me down some. My mom’s in town till mid-October, so she’s my focus at the moment, and I’ve been writing when I can, but then, Monday, the neighbor’s dog bit my youngest son, so we had to do the ER and police report crap, only to find out today that, even though he’s the SECOND KID in a month that the dog has bitten, they’re not doing a THING to it. Yeah, I’m serious, and seriously pissed right now. I mean, the beast runs wild, bites two kids, and oh fucking well, right?




Luckily, the bite wasn’t SEVERE but he did need a tetanus shot and stuff. The damned mutt almost cut through his Achilles’ tendon, but it’s not a ‘serious’ bite? Riiiiiight … Did I mention that he’s autistic, too, and that ALL he did was get off the school bus and the damn dog CHARGED him in the street? Yeah …


Anyway, also I wanted to mention that it’s about time for server costs for Suericfanfictions, so if anyone can help out with that, it’d be greatly appreciated! Server costs for this site is 100 for a year, so not that bad. Hoping that y’all can help me out here, and If you can, thanks!


I’ll get back to a real posting schedule after my dear mommy goes back to Georgia in October, so till then, love you all! (but I will try to post a few chapters when I can, too.)

posted by Sueric at 8:23 pm  

Saturday, May 24, 2014

P9: 223: The Waiting Game

~~Chapter Two Hundred Twenty-Three~~

~The Waiting Game~


You are the only one

I’ve ever known

That makes me feel this way

Girl, you are my own …’

-‘I’ll be Waiting‘ by Lenny Kravitz.




Eyes flashing open as the crush of a very large body fell on her moments before the hand smashed down to cover her lips, Valerie uttered a strangled scream, even as the realization of who, exactly, was doing the crushing sank in.


“Shh!” Evan insisted, lifting his hand to give her a quick kiss her instead. “If they find me in here, I’ll catch seven kinds of hell.”


Laughing softly as she leaned up far enough to kiss him in kind, Valerie smiled. “Where’s my coffee, Roka?”


He chuckled and rolled to the side, extending his hand behind himself to retrieve the steaming mug of coffee he’d brought with him. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to climb up to your balcony without spilling a damn drop?” he complained, careful to keep his voice just above a whisper.


“Why didn’t you just use the door?”


He snorted. “Because Bubby’s guarding the stairway, that’s why. Talk about monumental cockblocks . . .”


Valerie laughed again. “You know,” she said, her voice muffled by the coffee mug, “it’s bad luck for you to see me before the wedding.”


Evan shot her a droll glance. “Are you telling me you believe those old wives’ tales?”


Handing him the empty mug before slipping her arms around him, she shook her head. “Not really,” she said. “So did you give in and stay with Gunnar all night?”


“That bastard did me dirty,” Evan confessed with a snort. “Caught me trying to sneak out around one, so he called Kurt over to lock me in with ofuda.”




Evan made a face. “Yeah . . . paper charms that he uses to create barriers that youkai can’t pass through without taking some serious damage.”


“I didn’t know that was even possible.”


He shrugged. “Oh, it is. They use them in handcuffs and stuff so youkai can’t just break them. Anyway, damned if Drevin wasn’t grinning the whole time, too, little bastard . . .”


“Well,” she said, snuggling a little closer to him—or as close as the curlers she still wore in her hair would allow, “it doesn’t look like it hurt you or anything.” She sighed as a secretive little smile tugged on the corners of her lips. “So . . . what are the odds that you brought more coffee up here with you?”


Evan sighed, poking a claw at the curlers as a little smile quirked his lips. “Have a heart, V. It was hard enough to get away from everyone, to start with! Getting away with a full pot of Joe?” He shook his head. “I am many things, baby, but I am not a miracle worker.”


“It’s my wedding day, Roka,” she reminded him, closing her eyes for a long moment. “Thought you said this whole ‘mates’ thing meant that you’d do anything to make me happy?”


He laughed. “Well, I could venture down there,” he allowed. “Of course, there’s a good chance that they won’t let me bring back your coffee. I’m sure Mama would, though, come to think of it . . .”


“What time is it?”


Leaning up and craning his neck to glance at the clock that had gotten turned on the nightstand, Evan flopped back as he tightened his arms around Valerie. “Nine,” he told her, his voice muffled as he kissed the top of her head.


She heaved a long sigh. “Hmm, I guess I should get up, then,” she mused though she made no move to do so. “I imagine my parents are already down there?”


“Mmm,” Evan intoned, savoring the feel of her beside him, of the quiet and peaceful serenity that enveloped the room. “Mama laid out a huge breakfast buffet down there. They were all talking and stuff, and I swear to God, your father couldn’t keep his eyes off Mama . . . I think ol’ Jack has a thing for her . . .”


Valerie rolled her eyes but laughed. “As long as your father doesn’t take offense to it.”


“Cain’s completely oblivious,” he scoffed just before he leaned in to nuzzle her neck. “Anyway, what do you think? Got enough time for some lovin’ before they discover us?”


Closing her eyes for a moment, Valerie breathed out a long, wistful sigh as she turned her face to intercept Evan’s lips. Shifting his body, he couldn’t ignore the lick of fire that sparked to life at her easy acquiescence. The banked heat, the searing swell of emotion surged through him, uncontrollable and free. Her lips fluttered under his, accepting his passion as hers spiraled higher.


His fingers slid over the thin cotton of her tee-shirt, creating a teasing caress. Remind himself that he really didn’t have the time to press his luck, he uttered a soft little sigh against her lips as her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers sinking into his hair, her body rising up to meld against his.


The soft click of the door registered vaguely in his head, but it seemed to have come from so far away, almost more of an afterthought or a vague memory—at least, until someone cleared their throat in a completely grating and wholly obnoxious kind of way.


“Evan Roka Zelig! You’re not supposed to be in here!”


Pulling away from Valerie with a very longsuffering sigh, Evan managed a wan grin as he turned his head to meet his mother’s disapproving gaze. Standing just inside the doorway with a hand on her hip and a rather chagrined frown on her face, Gin shook her head and waved her free hand impatiently. “You get out of here!” she insisted. “You shouldn’t see the bride before the wedding!”


Rolling his eyes, Evan shot Valerie an entirely unapologetic look as he swung his legs off the bed. “What’d I tell you, V?” he teased. “Guess this is it until two o’clock.”


Valerie laughed and sat up on her elbow, tilting her face to meet him when he paused long enough to give her a quick kiss. “You’d better not try to run away,” she warned him.


Evan’s grin widened. “As if! Love you, V,” he called over his shoulder as he slipped past his mother and out of the door.


Gin watched him go with a slow shake of her head then finally turned to face Valerie once more. “You’ve got a visitor,” she said as she hurried across the floor to draw open the drapes that covered the sliding glass doors that led to the balcony. “I can’t believe it’s your wedding day! My baby boy’s getting married . . .”


“Who’s that?” Valerie asked about the mysterious visitor, pushing herself up and reaching for the robe lying over the end of the bed.


Gin giggled. “Oh! Sorry! It’s your friend, Marvin.”


Valerie froze as a thoughtful scowl surfaced. “Marvin?” she echoed. “Oh . . .”


Gin paused and looked at Valerie, her ebullience waning slowly. “If you’d rather not talk to him, I could tell him that you’re busy getting ready for the wedding,” she offered.


Blinking quickly, Valerie glanced at Gin and forced a wan smile as she stumbled out of bed and toward the closet where she’d stashed a couple changes of clothes. “It’s fine,” she assured her soon-to-be mother-in-law. “Where is he?”


“He said he’d rather wait outside,” Gin replied, stepping over to the bed to straighten the blankets. “Is everything all right?”


“What? Oh, yes,” she said, pulling a simple dress out of the closet.


It didn’t take her long to get dressed, and she didn’t bother with her hair or anything, considering Madison would have a fit if she took her hair out of the curlers before she was ready to fix it for the wedding. Still, Valerie’s stomach felt as though it was flopping over and over as she headed out of the room. She wasn’t entirely sure what Marvin wanted, but she couldn’t help the anxiety that loomed over her, either.


Why was he there? What could he possibly want to say to her?


Biting her lip as she hurried down the stair and toward the front door, she stifled a sigh.


The morning was fresh and beautiful, and Valerie shielded her eyes against the beams of sunlight, caught in the morning dew that coated the lush grass. Marvin stood near his rental car, his expression inscrutable, hands dug deep into his pockets as he reluctantly raised his eyes to meet hers.


Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Valerie slowly descended the porch steps. “Hi,” she said, hoping that her reluctance didn’t come through in her greeting.


Marvin managed a fleeting, uncertain smile. “You, uh . . . You look nice,” he said with a helpless kind of shrug.


“You look good,” she replied, wrapping her arms over her stomach as she drew abreast of him and stopped. It was a slight stretch, only because of the rumpled state of his clothing, the untidy way his hair stuck out here and there. Still, he was the same endearing Marvin that she’d met at college so long ago. He’d driven all night, hadn’t he . . .? Just to talk to her . . .


“Thanks,” Marvin replied. “Do you, um . . . I-I mean, would you . . .?” Trailing off rather helplessly, he grimaced. “Do you have time to talk?” He sighed. “I mean, I know today’s your wedding day,” he muttered. “If you don’t, that’s okay . . .”


“Do you want to go for a walk?” she heard herself asking. Something about Marvin’s demeanor . . .


He seemed surprised by her offer, and he quickly nodded. “If you have time,” he reiterated.


He followed behind as Valerie led him around the mansion, down toward the path that led to the beach. “I’m glad you’re here,” she ventured at length. “I . . . I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.”


Shaking his head quickly, Marvin stopped, leaning back against the stair railing as he dug his hands a little deeper into his pockets, scrunching up his shoulders as he stared down at his feet. “No, don’t apologize, Val. I mean, it really wasn’t your fault, and . . . and I never should have said those things to you . . .”


“You had every right to be upset,” Valerie insisted softly. “I never . . . I never meant to hurt you.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead, wishing that she didn’t sound so damned perfunctory because she meant it. She could only hope that he knew that. “That sounds so lame, but honestly, I—”


“You’re really happy with him?” Marvin interrupted, finally lifting his gaze to meet hers.


“I am,” Valerie admitted. She wanted to tell him that she hoped he’d find the same thing, too—the absolute love, the breathtaking affection that she’d found with Evan—but she winced inwardly, staunching the words before she uttered them. How ridiculous would that sound coming from her? How silly and trite . . .


He nodded, saying nothing, as though he needed a moment to absorb her statement. Turning on his heel, he slowly made his way down the rest of the steps, wandering almost aimlessly toward the rolling tide.


She followed along behind him, wishing that she could say the things she was thinking, wishing that he’d understand the things that she simply couldn’t bring herself to say—things like she thought that he was a good man, that she didn’t regret the time she’d spent with him, that she hoped he’d find true happiness, just as she had—but all those things sounded so very condescending, even in her head, and in the end, she said nothing.


“I . . . I want the best for you,” Marvin said in a tone that left Valerie wondering if he really was speaking to her at all. Staring out over the ocean, he seemed so very far away. “That’s really all I came here to say. That, and I hope that he . . . he knows how lucky he is.”


“Marvin,” Valerie replied, blinking fast to stave back the wash of tears that sprang to haze over her vision. She did love him, didn’t she, even if she hadn’t ever truly been in love with him. “You . . . You’re such a brilliant man . . . but . . . but I didn’t want to be unfair to you—or to me. I know you deserved so much better, and I know how—how—how stupid that sounds, coming from me,” she said. “I never, ever meant to hurt you. I hope you know that.”


He sighed and slowly turned to face her, and the smile on his lips was reluctant, even nervous, but it was genuine. “It’s okay, Val,” he told her. Then he choked out a little laugh. “Well, it’ll be okay,” he amended. “I just . . . I can’t hate you, not when I . . . I made mistakes, too. Do you suppose we could, uh . . .?” He let out a deep breath, as though he wasn’t entirely sure how she’d react to his question,. “Do you think . . . we could be friends? Did I . . .? Did I ruin that?”


Valerie smiled. “I’ll always be your friend, Marvin, if you’ll let me . . . and I’ll be your biggest supporter for your research, too. You’ll do it; I know you will.”


His smile widened just a little. “Don’t let Evan Zelig forget how special you are,” he said, drawing a deep, almost cleansing breath. “Bet you’ll be beautiful today.” This time, his laughter sounded much more normal. “Well, not that you’re not beautiful every day . . .”


Valerie laughed, shaking her head, flicking a hand dismissively. “You know, if you want, you’re welcome to stay . . .”


Shaking his head quickly, Marvin couldn’t hide the blush that rose in his cheeks. “Oh, I can’t,” he replied. “I just, you know, wanted to tell you how sorry I am for . . . for those things I said.”


“Don’t apologize anymore,” she insisted. “It’s okay.”


He stared at her for several long moments, then he finally nodded. “Oh, uh, I should get going. I mean, your wedding starts in a few hours, right? Shouldn’t you be inside, getting ready?”


She didn’t say anything more as the two headed back toward the stairs. This time, however, the silence wasn’t nearly as unkind as it was on the initial trek. Still stilted and vaguely uncomfortable, certainly, but the sense of trepidation had dissipated, and for that, Valerie was grateful.


The sounds of the crew that was hired to set up for the wedding was muffled. True that most of it was done yesterday, but the last minute preparations were still going strong. Marvin glanced over at it in passing, but said nothing about it. He said nothing at all until they were standing in the driveway once more.


“Thanks for taking the time to talk to me,” Marvin said, his nervous smile back in place once more.


“I wish you’d have come yesterday,” Valerie admitted. “I would have had more time to talk.”


Marvin shook his head. “Oh, uh . . . I . . . I didn’t realize until last night that I wanted to come. But I sat there, staring at your wedding invitation, and I . . . Well, I didn’t want you to get married with telling you how sorry I am.”


For a moment, it surprised her that Marvin had received an invitation. That surprise didn’t last. Evan . . . He had done it, hadn’t he? She wasn’t sure what the reason behind it was. After all, it would be easy to think that he’d done it just to rub Marvin’s nose in it, but she knew him better than that. No, the only reason Evan would have done such a thing was because, somewhere in his heart, he knew that Valerie wanted to have a moment to say the things she hadn’t gotten to say on that awful night by the pool. That was the Evan that she knew: the Evan she was going to marry. “I am glad you came,” she said, hurriedly giving Marvin a kiss on the cheek.


Marvin laughed softly. It was a warm, genuine sound. “I’m glad I did, too,” he confessed. For a moment, he seemed undecided. Then he hurriedly, clumsily, kissed her cheek. “I’ll . . . I’ll see you, Valerie. Take care.”


She nodded as she stepped back, as she watched him stride around the car. She waved as he pulled out of the driveway, and she didn’t turn back to the mansion until the car was out of sight once more.


“So . . . did you two clear the air?”


Valerie turned around, coming face to face with her future husband. “You invited him?” she asked, arching an eyebrow as she broke into a little smile.


Evan sighed. “Well, of course! Had to rub his it in, now didn’t I?”


Valerie narrowed her eyes and slipped her arms around Evan’s waist. “That’s not why you did it, and you know it,” she replied. “Tell me the truth.”


He snorted as he folded her into his arms. “All right, all right,” he relented with a melodramatic sigh. “Did you tell him what you wanted to say?”


She nodded. “Thank you.”


“I don’t want you to have any regrets, V,” he said softly, kissing her forehead as he tightened his arms around her. “Even if I don’t like the little shit . . .”


“Don’t ruin the moment, Roka,” she warned. “Besides, I know you’re a very sensitive, very sweet man deep down, even if your family tried their hardest to convince me otherwise last night.”


Evan snorted. “What do you mean?”


She laughed. “Your father and brother thought they should warn me about your less-than-honorable past,” she said then shrugged. “You really were bad, weren’t you?”


“They did?”


She leaned up and kissed his chin before cuddling against his chest once more. Eyes closed, she missed the irritation that filtered into his countenance, the gathering storm clouds of his reaction to what she’d unwittingly implied. “They did, but it’s okay. I knew you were a troublemaker from the get-go.”


“All right, Evan,” Bas remarked as he loped down the porch steps. “Step away from the bride, and come with me.”


Evan gave Valerie another squeeze before finally letting his arms drop away. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” he told her, his expression shifting into an exaggerated pout.


She laughed as Bas planted a hand on Evan’s shoulders and propelled him toward the porch.


“Tell me something, Bubby . . . Just what the hell did you tell V about me?”


Bas shot him a droll glance. “Nothing but the truth, Evan,” Bas assured him.


“Right, right . . . You’re kind of an ass,” Evan pointed out. “How would you have liked it if I’d told Sydnie a bunch of shit about you the night before your wedding?”


Bas pushed him through the door before she could hear his reply, and Valerie laughed as she lifted her face heavenward. Absolutely gorgeous without a cloud in the sky . . .


The perfect day a her wedding, wasn’t it?


All that was left was the ceremony itself, and then she would be Mrs. Evan Zelig.


She couldn’t wait.



 <<< 222: Reticence

224: Thwarted >>>




I’ve redone the forum to allow more features and easier usage. In the new forum, I’ve posted the preliminary chapters for Purity 11 and 12 in the Spoiler Room forum for anyone interested in getting a sneak peek. You must register for the forum and make fifteen counted posts in order to gain access, but hopefully those who do find the chapters to be worth the hassle.

I’ll be Waitingby Lenny Kravitz originally appeared on the 2008 release, It’s Time for a Love Revolution. Copyrighted to Lenny Kravitz and Craig Ross.

== == == == == == == == == ==







OROsan0677 ——— cutechick18 ——— lianned88 ——— gin-hayashi85 ——— mariea


Final Thought from Evan:

… Is that right …?


Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Subterfuge): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.


posted by Sueric at 10:20 am  

Friday, April 18, 2014

Stick a Fork in Me!

Seriously, so irritated beyond words at the moment. It’s just that indignant anger, I guess, that irritation and worry that just gnaws at me.

Eric’s still working (sort of). They say that Tuesday is supposed to be his last day, but no one has said for sure anything; that is the rumor, but it’s so hard to deal with because it makes it difficult to look for another job when you’re hanging in limbo like that, right? And it’s not that he’s even put in a full week lately, either, since they tend to send people home if they run out of things to do on a given day, which hurts even more financially, but even now, we’re coping and making it, or at least, we were.

Earlier this month, we got a nasty shock in the form of our electric bill. Well, as most of you know, this winter’s been hellacious. We didn’t realize that the electric company had been guesstimating our bill since November, and we’re used to our winter electric bill being around 300 – 350 a month, so it wasn’t a huge deal since we were able to pay it, but then this month, I open the mail to find our bill is 743.84, and that it’s due next week. So I called our local trustee to see if they could help us, and they said they could. Mind, this was maybe the 2nd or 3rd of the month. I didn’t hear anything from them, so I called them to verify it yesterday, and they’re telling me that they ‘ran out of funds’ and that they’re ‘sorry’; did I try the Salvation Army? I mean, seriously? They couldn’t have told me this earlier in the month when there might have been some hope that I could figure something out? So I called the Salvation Army, and they are strapped, too. It seems that we’re not the only people who are getting slammed like this and for a lot of folks, they didn’t have vacation time to fall back on, so they got short-checked on top of it all for the many days missed due to massive snowfalls. (Between December and early April, I don’t think we went more than a few days without more snow on top of more snow, not to mention the -50 with wind chill weather). I called the electric company, and all they could say was that we ‘should have realized’ that our bill was too low. I mean, I’ll be clear: we do have enough to pay PART of the stinking bill, but the whole thing? Geez!

I’m just so MAD that they couldn’t bother to let us know that the help they’d promised had fallen through. I am not a mind reader; I don’t just wake up KNOWING these things, especially when the trustee told me to check back “in a couple weeks, maybe three” to make sure that they had paid it for us. It’s so stupid! And yet, I suppose it’s my own fault for not having realized that they weren’t actually reading my meter … Whatever.

I keep telling myself that good things happen to those who don’t lose faith, and I’m trying. I’m so ready to get to the bright side of this whole downward spiral. I feel like it just can’t be that far away; that we’re due for a turn-around soon. I just have to hold on until then. I can do that. I just wish that I’d stop having bullshit heaped at me time after time.

On the brighter side (if there is one), I have been thinking that I want to work on one of my originals so that I might possibly start to contribute to our family income, but I ask that if you have a favorite between The Grace of Aberration and The Fulcrum, please do leave me a comment and let me know which one you’d rather read and why. Please. As the author, I love them both, so it’s hard to say which one is really ‘better’ than the other. I’m fighting to get my head back into writing, and it’s tough, but I’ve started to use my Twitter more, so do feel free to find me there. My twitter is Sueric@SuericFanfics.

I just needed to vent about the dumb stuff that’s going on, and I did want to let you all know that I’m still alive and kicking, and I’ll keep everyone updated, too, provided I still have electricity after next week lol


I’ve tried everything, and still no luck.  If anyone can help me, I’d greatly appreciate it, please.  This just irritates me to no end.  Given that it was the electric company’s fault, you’d THINK they could be a little more lenient, wouldn’t you?  But why would they when they know damn well that you don’t HAVE a choice as there are no other providers around here.  Jackasses.

Or log into paypal and click on the Send Money tab. My email is

posted by Sueric at 7:58 am  

Monday, April 7, 2014

Server Paid!

The server has been paid, thanks to a couple very sweet and generous folks 🙂 I would post their names here, but I don’t want to embarrass anyone (unless they want me to, in which case, I’ll be happy to post their names!)


Now for future reference, I want to remind you all that, should MediaMiner become any more busted than it already is, I will post things here on the blog, so don’t worry about missing updates. There’s also an RSS feature on this blog to keep you informed, as well. Or you can find me on Twitter, where I will always post a notice if I post a real chapter either here or on Media Miner.


As for Eric’s job, his last day is Friday, though he will be getting severance pay for a few weeks following the termination of his employment, He’s also started looking for a job, (he couldn’t before then because they didn’t give him a real date of separation until about last week). He’s put in his application at a couple places, though, so please cross your fingers for us. My darling mother helped me get a computer (we have to pay for it when Eric gets another job, but that’s okay, too), and I’ve been sitting down for a few minutes at least every day to write a little, and as things settle down around here, that time will increase for me, too.


Please do keep us in your prayers. Money helps pay bills, but prayers help me feel the sense of support and offer me the knowledge that I’m not alone, that there are truly people who care. Oh, and also, feel free to email me. I swear I don’t bite, and I do like to hear from you guys, even if I can’t get back to you immediately, I do get back to those who email me as quickly as I can!


All my love,


posted by Sueric at 11:34 am  

Monday, April 7, 2014

Site removal

Hey, guys, just a heads’ up. This site will be going down in 7 days as I do not have the money to pay for the server this year. The total cost is 83.40, and with my husband’s last week of work being this week, we simply cannot afford it any longer. I’m really sorry to tell you this, in light of it being my last real place in which I can talk to you all. But it is what it is.

If anyone wishes to donate to the cost of the server, though, it’d be greatly appreciated. I love having this site, and I’d love even more to save it. Please let me know if you can help or send a donation through PayPal. I have till the 14th to pay the server cost. Thanks, guys, and if that doesn’t work out, then I hope to be back soon–as soon as my husband’s got a new job and everything is settled again!

God bless you all!

With all my love,


Or log into paypal and click on the Send Money tab. My email is


20.00 received toward server cost!  Thanks, TS!!

posted by Sueric at 10:29 am  

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Prayers needed …

So we just found out today that as of March, my husband’s going to be out of a job. Talk about just one more thing, right? So I’m asking that you all keep us in your prayers while we figure out what we’re going to do. The computer’s going to have to wait until things are worked out, and I am sorry for that. Please pray for us, and I hope to update sometime soon.


Merry Christmas,


posted by Sueric at 10:01 am  

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Weeeeell ………..

Well, the original plan was to get the rest of Subterfuge done by Christmas, but I’m not so sure that’s possible.  My computer has decided to die on me, so all the work I’d done is gone right now, and I’m forced to resort to using my kid’s computer (like now) just to get some stuff done.  No one is more unhappy about this than I am, but it is what it is.  I should be able to get a new computer around tax time (ugh) so until then, I’m just doing what I can with my phone (though writing isn’t exactly one of those things lol).


Sorry for the delay, but I wish you all a GREAT holiday season!

posted by Sueric at 7:19 pm  

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Happy Update!

Just wanted to take a long-overdue moment to check in and to say THANK YOU to everyone who helped to save our house. At the moment, we’re still working on the repairs (they should be finished by Thanksgiving, knock on wood!), but for the first time in a long time, I don’t fear what tomorrow might bring. I want to thank everyone who helped us, and I wanted to say THANKS as well to those who have offered me emotional support. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.


If you’ve heard the news lately, too, then maybe you’ve heard about the tornadoes that ripped through Indiana yesterday. We live about an hour north of the worst hit area (Kokomo), and I’m thankful to say that we had winds but kind of balanced between the storms so we didn’t actually get anything major where we live. It was frightening, though, because the tornado alarms went off and were pretty scary. Today, Eric’s factory (about fifteen minutes north of us) was shut down due to power outage, but it’s up and running now, and we’re hoping that he can take a vacation day for today so that we don’t lose a day’s pay since our electric bill is due next week. It’s not a huge deal, but it will make things incredibly tight if he’s short a day that isn’t his fault. But I think they’ll allow it because I’m sure that he’s not the only one who will be asking lol.


We don’t actually have a thing for Thanksgiving dinner, but I figure that it’s okay. All my guys and I have talked about it, and we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s fine to have peanut butter sandwiches and ramen for our holiday because we have so much to be thankful for. I feel like I’ve learned so much this year especially but last year as well about blessings and about the things that truly matter. We might not have much this year, but maybe next year will be better. We don’t have anything for Thanksgiving, and we won’t have anything for Christmas, either, but we’re healthy, and we’re home, and I think that’s more than a lot of people have.


As for updates, I am hoping to get back to my real love of writing when we finally get the kitchen work out of the way. I am HOPING to give you all the rest of Subterfuge for Christmas this year. At least, this is my aim, God willing, so I hope you’re all looking forward to that!


Again, I cannot express my gratitude to everyone who has helped us. I know I’ve said it before, but I mean it. I truly hope God blesses you all, and I pray that you all enjoy this holiday season!


With all my love,


posted by Sueric at 2:38 am  

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Status Update

Figured I should post one of these to let you all know what’s going on, but first off, I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent their support, monetarily and via email just to offer encouragement. It’s meant a lot to me and my family.


As of this time, we still don’t have enough to finish the repairs on the house that are needed on time, and with every day that passes, I reconcile myself a little more to the idea that it’s just not enough, that our efforts (and yours) aren’t going to be enough right now. As near as we can figure, we’re short about 400 – 600 to finish the things that have to be done in order for our house to not be condemned, though we’re hopeful that, if we somehow did manage to come up with the funds, that maybe they’d understand that it just took us a little longer to get the money; that they’ll let us have some kind of extension to actually complete the repairs. It’s my last real hope.


I wanted to take the time to let you all know what’s going to happen should we fail to meet the deadline. It’s not a threat or anything, of course. It’s just the reality of the situation, of how it is. As of right now, you see, we have no rent or mortgage payment, and there will be one. Most of the places in this area go for 500 – 600 a month rent, which is going to hurt us so very much, especially since, at the same time, we’re going to be even shorter every week, due to the implementation of Obamacare. See, Eric’s work insurance is a joke. $5000.00 per year deductible plus $1200.00 a year Out of Pocket BEFORE they’ll even co-pay on prescriptions, so unless someone were to become massively ill, we’ll never meet those two requirements, ever, yet we still have to pay 200.00 a month (50 a week) out of his check or be fined by the IRS at the end of the year—something else we cannot afford. Indiana has no choice though. The way the legislation is written, you HAVE to take whatever your employer offers you if they offer any kind of coverage, no matter how big of a joke it really is. You don’t get to choose your coverage. You take whatever they toss down to you and pay whatever you have to pay, and IF you’re lucky, you’ll get a ‘tax break’. Whatever. It does no good to complain about it. Letters to congresspeople and state reps don’t help. Why should they? We’re not rich. We don’t contribute to their reelection pots. They don’t give a great goddamn about us.


So, starting in January, our 440 a week drops to closer to 390 – 400. Ouch. On top of that, we’ll have to deal with a new rent payment that we didn’t have now, but it is what it is, right?


So anything “extra” bill-wise has to go, and the only “extra” we have is, sadly, our internet bill and phones. We’re going to keep one phone but shut off the other, which is okay, but we have to have some way for the school to contact us in case, God forbid, Skylar has a seizure or anything. We have a weekly car payment that will luckily end in April when it’s paid off, but we only have one car besides Alex’s, so we have to keep that, too. To that end, however, I’m trying to finish up Purity 9 at least, instead of leaving it hanging indefinitely. To do so, I do have to cut some stuff that was supposed to happen before the wedding, but I’d rather complete the story than to let it drag on and on, especially when there is frankly no telling when or if I’ll be back online anytime soon. Also, if it looks like we’re just not going to make it, then I will post the preliminary chapters to Purity 11 and 12 in the Spoiler Room forum (for those who have access). It’s not something I want to do, but it is what it is.


I also wanted to take the time to thank you all for your support and encouragement over the years. It’s meant the world to me. I honestly don’t know where I would be now if it weren’t for fanfiction and for you all, and I wish you all the best in the future. I’m hoping that I can post that everything’s going to be fine, but at this point, I’m trying to be realistic. It breaks my heart, but again, it is what it is, and I’d rather take the time now to tell you all how much I love and appreciate you than to end up not having the chance at all. I guess I was wrong before about being at rock bottom, because I feel more than ever that I am there now, but it is okay because at least when we finally do hit the bottom, there is no where else to go but up.


Hope to still be with you all after December 3rd, but if not, I hope that you all have enjoyed the stories that I have posted. They were written with love from my heart to yours.


All my love and affection,

Sueric aka Sue

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posted by Sueric at 1:24 am  

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Ever feel like …

… no matter what you do, there’s always something, isn’t there? This week’s been pretty rough on us. Between refereeing family fights to finding out that something ELSE is wrong with our car, not to mention being sick for a few days (at least I got some writing done) and breaking the forum, it’s hard to keep telling myself that things are going to be okay. I guess maybe it’s karma for saying that it couldn’t get much worse, right?


I give up. At this point, I wonder if we’ll be able to keep our house at all. Eric’s been practically begging at work to get more time in, I’ve been calling everyone under the sun trying to get my foot in for a job (ANY job), and yet, nothing at all, which is not surprising, all things considered. People who have worked steadily for years with college degrees can’t get a job around here, so why would a stay at home mom who hasn’t worked outside the home have a snowball’s chance in hell? Then we find out, too, that Skylar’s been having a few issues at school, which isn’t entirely surprising since he’s older now, but they’re telling me that if he doesn’t straighten up, they’ll remove him from school, even though by law, they have to keep him in school till he’s 22 if that’s what we want. Then it gets to me because we still haven’t filed for guardianship of him, and that’s just a bomb waiting to explode right in my face, but we don’t have the 1000 bucks to file for that on top of everything else.


Positivity? What the hell is that? I feel so stupid for having said that, at all. What’s the point? What’s the point to any of it? As far as I can see, it’s hopeless, utterly hopeless. A few people (God bless you) have helped us, and we appreciate it so much, and yet, every time I turn around, it’s something else. Now, suddenly, the lights in my car are going haywire, so it’s another trip to the shop because they don’t sell dashboard light bulbs at the auto shop, and honestly, I don’t know that that’s the actual problem since my side turn signals in front don’t want to work, nor do my taillights stay on as they should with the daytime running lights. We changed all the fuses, did all the troubleshooting we could think of or find on Google, and nothing works, so it’s back to the shop, paying for repairs with money we don’t have.


I feel like I’m just beating my head against a brick wall and there’s just no help for it, and when I stop to think that Christmas really isn’t that far away, well, I don’t even want to think of it. We bought our kids each one or two things last year because it was all we had, and this year isn’t going to be any better. At least they’re older, and they can understand that we don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I’m just ranting because it all just feels so very wrong right now, and when I think that we only have until December 3 to get all this crap done, it makes me feel literally sick to my stomach. That’ll be a hell of a Christmas present, right? I wish I thought it was funny.


Anyway, the point of all this is just to say that if I suddenly disappear offline, you’ll know why. I feel like maybe I’m being punished for the things in my life that I’ve done wrong, but that doesn’t make sense because, if that were true, then why would my family have to pay for those things, too? Then I feel like my brain’s going to explode, and all my ‘friends’? They’re too busy to help or have too many other things going on that they don’t have time to take a moment to even ask me if I’m all right. That sounds bitter, I know, and it probably is. The thing is, I really do try to be a positive person. I try to encourage people the best I can because just a little encouragement can go a long way, but I can’t help but wonder why it is that so few people ever try to be there for me like that. I know, I sound like a big whiner right now, but honestly, I really just don’t know anymore. I try to tell myself that the good Lord knows what I can and absolutely cannot take, and that there’s a reason for everything that happens. Lately, though, it’s getting harder and harder to believe that.



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posted by Sueric at 11:22 pm  
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