I really, really don’t know what to do. I’m so stressed out that it isn’t even funny. We made it through my husband’s off time thanks to some really great people. Now they tell him that they’re cutting him down to three days a week, which will about kill us. I talked to the welfare department but they won’t even look at us until our income has been affected for at least 60 days, which just figures. They say that if we qualify for help (and there’s a good chance we won’t), they’ll pay us back to the date when we first lost income, but that doesn’t really help. What are we supposed to do until then? And Eric can’t apply for unemployment; if he does, there’s a good chance he’ll be fired (they’ll invent a reason; that’s how they operate). Even if he filed a complaint, you have to have money for a lawyer, and even then, you’d lose. They laid off someone earlier because he had a gimp leg, and they told him that he couldn’t physically do his job (but he was like that when they hired him, right?) He tried to sue them, but they came up with reasons why he’d been let go and denied having said anything about his disability.

I’ve freaked out so badly that I just don’t know anymore. On top of that, our stupid lawnmower blew up, too, and with no money to get a new one or even a used one if we could find one, now I get to worry that we’ll be cited if our yard gets too long. I mean, heck, they cited our neighbors for having a hole in his siding from the ice storm we had back in December . . .

They say that the economy is picking up, but I just don’t see it. They also say it’s darkest before the dawn, but I just don’t see that, either. This is why people lose hope, and I can’t help but to think in the back of my mind that we do have life insurance and that I’m worth $250,000 if I died, and even if I don’t have any intention of doing anything stupid, I am starting to understand why someone would.

I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m just so tired of thinking about it all the time. I just needed to vent, you know? Anyway, thanks for listening 🙂